DIRECTION

The word “DIRECTION” means 1. A corner in which one heads. 2. Instruction(s) to reach an intended goal.

While driving on the road we follow any one of the  four (forward, reverse, left or right), while at the sea a ship follows one of the 4 (North, West, East & South) or more specifically any of N, NNE, NE, NEE, E, SEE, SE, SSE, S, SSW, SW, SWW, W, NWW, NW, NNW. When airborne the plane has two more direction added to this 16 directions namely up and down. All these direction are relevant while one is on the earth or in the earth’s atmosphere. Once you leave the earth these directions render useless for one need to substitute the sun with, may be another distant star.

In the process of marching toward the destination a car is given direction by the wheels, a ship is given direction by the rudder; a plane is given direction by the air foils plus rudder and a spacecraft by the nozzle.

Proper direction is very vital to reach the desired destination to progress and to survive.

Once on a beach, one wave after the other, brought sholes of star fishes, the fishes were destined to die but a small boy on the beach was trying to catch one and throw it back in to the sea. The waves were mightier than the hand of the boy. The waves brought the fishes in thousands and boy returned them back in one or two. There were others on the beach but he was the only person returning fishes back to the waters.

An old man walked up to him and asked what difference does it make? The fishes come in majuscule and you send them in miniscule. The boy lifted a fish and saying “It makes difference to this one” he threw it into the water. He took another one said the same thing and threw it into the water.

For the old man it was just a futile exercise but for the fish it was a matter of life and death. The boy gave a direction to the fish, a direction towards water, a direction towards life.

While on road we come across crossroad and living a life we come across ambiguity. We cannot continue to stay there for long, we have to take a decision, a direction and move on. When ambiguity pervades, haziness is all around, a remark from a friendly soul falls on our ears. “Why don’t you do this?”, “Have you ever tried this one?”, “How about doing it this way?”, “Never say no.”, “You are capable of doing that.” “You should give it a try” so on and so forth.

I call these remarks as “PASSING REMARKS”. How careful are we? How attentive are we to these remarks? They often go unheard. Is it because they sound unpleasant? Can they be turned into melodious music? Can they be transformed in to a symphony?      

There is no dearth of stories of great men who understood the importance of these passing remarks and made the most out of their lives. These remarks work equally well for those who are careful listener and consistent follower. 

One such passing remark from Neha opened up a new direction for me that I never dreamed of even in my wildest dream. It is said that "The journey of thousand miles begins with a single step" and fortunately enough, I ..... took that single step. 

See you next time with the STORY OF NEHA PATEL

LOVE WITHIN AND WITHOUT

Je t’aime (I love you) is an expression used across all existing relations in the world. Sometimes it forms the base of forming new relations. This is an expression used to express the intensity of connection between people. It is glue that binds people together.

God made air and god made love. He blended them well and left them to flow. Poets say “Love is in the air”. How true would it be? No sooner this question rises in the mind the answer too comes readily. How come we feel connected with someone, when the sky covers up with clouds which drizzle in harmony with the swaying breeze? It is love in the pollen that rides the swirls of the wind to reach its destination. The beautiful flower that I am connected to at this moment is the outcome of one such act.  

As I write this blog, the curtain on the window, flutters in tune with the breeze, each flutter impregnates the ambiance in the room with light fragrance of a flower just outside the window. The ebb and tide of fragrance, renders me restless, provokes me to have more. The empty flower vase lying in front of my eyes and provocation whispering in my ears “Go and get it, are working hand in glove”. The mind is agitated and fingers on the verge of reaching out to pluck it. My heart cries out “Do you love it? If yes, don’t do it.”

Love that reaches out is blissful and when responded, a symphony is struck. The flower is trying to reach out to me through its fragrance and was I responding to it or about to shatter it.

We fall prey to emotive forces. Emotion blinds us and drives us possessive. To us, flower in not a creation but merely an object to be used and thrown away. It seems this perception has extended to contemporary society too.

Money power, muscle power, authority, position is shattering (Rape, Gang rape, molestation, eve teasing, child abuse) the fair sex everywhere. Can police, can strict laws, can jail, can hanging solve this problem? Every time I switch on the news channel, the news reporter has at least one such news. Shattering happens unabated.

On Sept 16, 2013 when the supreme court of India announced it verdict in the Delhi rape case, hell broke loose on the four convicts. They chose to kill and walked the way to get killed.

At times I think, is the social fiber strengthening or weakening. The society has run dry of love, honor and respect for the fair sex. Can’t it be restored? Can’t awareness be created? Can’t it be revived?

I am hopeful; it can come back the way it has disappeared. We have in us immense capacity to love, honor and respect the fair sex, a unique creation of Almighty.

Love is to be, and feel the bliss that generates within and extends without. Love is to be, and feel the bliss that generates outside and extends within.

THE STORY OF INDU-2

Few weeks later I left for her village. With few books and clothes in my shoulder bag I took the state highway connecting my hometown Vadodara and Dabhoi. The highway was flanked by rows of Neem and Gulmohor trees, the trees were fairly tall arching at the top providing shade to the travelers and traffic. It was crimson all over because of the flower on the trees and flower that fell on the road. It had been half an hour of journey by bus; it was time for me to get down at a spot named Kundhela.

No sooner did I alight the bus, within moments it disappeared around the turn of the road. From here on I had to walk on foot. I crossed on to the other side of the road and entered a field. It was the onset of monsoon; the sun not in sight, the sky heavily overcastted, the earth dressed in green and its soil drenched. While walking through the fields the soil would give way and my foot would sink in by a centimeter or so. With every moment fleeting, visibility lessened and I had to pass-by one village (Kundhela) before I could reach Bahranpura, the village where she lived. Far away I could see hazy images of two palm trees which stood inside the periphery of her village. It was almost 45 minutes of walk, from leaving the state highway to reaching her doorstep. It was almost dark; she had just completed her evening prayer. A sense of happiness flashed through her and emerged on her face in the form of a smile. Manubhai appeared on the scene from inside the house and it was once again a joyous reunion.

The next day Manubhai as usual went out for work on the fields, this was the right time to see that plantation happens in the right way so that he could thereafter nurture his crop with manure and water and see that his expectation come true. While at home I would spend my time reading books those I carried along with me. In between when she used to finish her household work she would come and sit with me. Talk about family members in the city, though not much educated, she would ask me, about my career plans. Hers was not a posh house but whatever she had; she would offer it with open heart. The dishes that she made were not five-star but were presented with a sense of belongingness; I could sense the connectivity being present and live. At times when it drizzled, the coolness dropping low, me stationed in my chair, lost in reading, she would surprise me with an aroma filled cup of tea. Fine phase of life speeds up and bring us to the moments of parting. I too had to leave for the city.

   

Once in the city I got busy with my career; my job, my family, my studies kept me too busy. At times I had to move my residence from place to place. Distances have their own role to play in maintaining relations. We got isolated for years. 
   

The next time I met her after almost two decades, she was week, age had demanded its toll, she had food pipe problem. The doctor had suggested a surgery. I was abroad and could not support Manubahi but I asked my family to be there with them. My wife supported to the best of her ability but she (Indubhabhi) was destined to leave us all.

Now, during the night, when I gaze at the sky and look at the stars, I am not sure whether she is there as a star trying to connect with me but when I gaze at my inner self, I find her there on the annals of my memories.

THE STORY OF INDU-1

Recalling childhood memories, I remember that at bed time I used to gaze at the sky, once I asked my mother. Whom do these stars represent? Why are they in the sky? She replied, when good people die their souls take place in the sky as stars. I have often seen falling stars who rush speedily and disappear, as I grew up I came to know they can be meteorite who enter the earth’s atmosphere and get burned out due friction with the earth’s atmosphere. There is another kind of celestial body which moves around the sun and disappear, they visit the sky on timely basis, they are known as comets, different comets appear over varying  span time. For many a comet can be seen once in a lifetime. Halley is one such comet which appears after 74 to 76 years. Like comets in the sky people appear in life and leave behind unforgettable memories. This article is dedicated to my sister-in-law “Indu”.

I was a small child when she married my brother (Manu) and joined our family, she used to stay in the village and I used to stay in the city. Whenever we happened to visit  her my mother would be closer to her and I would be busy gaming with friends, away from home into the fields, in the evening I would at times return home with a bag of tamarind or with a bag of wood apples. 

Come dusk and all activities (in-house and in-farm) would slow down, in the village people usually prefer to have dinner at dusk. The completion of dinner would lead us to family reunion where the elders and the children would exchange talks, ideas and stories. Though the house was big enough to accommodate the whole family; cots would be drawn for few family members who preferred to sleep under the shady neem trees which stood in front of the house. This group of beds was the reunion site. Those day there were no street lights in the village; the only light available was the moonlight that depended on its waxing and waning mood. Laying in the bed as I watched the moon slowly traversing the sky; playing hide and seek through the branches of the neem tree, she (Indu) would be there sitting beside me gently stroking my back, moments later I would be in deep sleep.

My slumber would be lost by the flutter of the birds on the neem trees, the noise of the cattle and the sunlight all around. Day after night and night after day would join together to form a continuous flow of joy and merriment. This flow would come to an end when it was time for me to leave this ambiance for schooling. Few days later the school would be commencing and I would be among a different company of friends. Often I would be stuck with the thought “Why is joyous time always short? Why does a vacation pass so swiftly?”   

Back at school I would get busy with studies and someday she would surprise me by an unexpected visit. She would stay overnight and leave the other day. During the few hours she would make me laugh. I really enjoyed her company. As years passed I found, she sensed me growing up and treated me accordingly. She would be friendlier rather than being mischievous. I had cleared my preparatory science. She one day paid a surprise visit and while leaving invited me to be her guest. 

See you next time with "The story of Indu-2"

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND-2

Xeroxing escalates, nights turn sleepless and students burn the midnight oil gearing up to face the exams. I had seriously and sincerely prepared for the Level-1 (neveau-1, French) exam, leaving nothing to chance. On the examination day, outside the exam hall, all classmates stood there shaking hands with smiling faces and wishing words exchanging best of luck. A question rose in my mind “Do these wishes work if preparation is not worked upon well?” My logic, before giving me any time to look for a solution, posed another question, if preparation is well worked upon, do we need wishes. These thought abruptly ended as the bell rang, it was time to move into the hall. Inside the hall it was pin drop silence, long rows of benches, housing seventy five to eighty students, three to four supervisor moving up and down the hall. I was fully engrossed, in writing the answers so much so that the fragrance of the lady supervisor walking past me, though alluring, did not think of giving her a look till the end of exams; the reason being if I ran short of time then what? I did not want to lose time. My eye flipped on two things; the wrist watch and the number of questions to be answered; two questions remaining and forty five minutes to go. They were questions on near future (futur proche) and recent past (passé récent). It took me some time but finally I was able to work out successfully; still ten more minutes to go, I checked the answer sheet for any mistakes those might have gone unnoticed. As I handed over the answer sheet the lady supervisor the acceptance occurred with gleaming eyes and smiling face. I left the hall.

Leisure hours and vacations pass away swiftly, silently and stealthily. The same happened with me too, it was time for the announcement of the results. Students attempt the exams in varying capacity but the eagerness to know the result is a thing that every student carries with almost the same intensity. The next day I was at the department’s office. A group of classmates were already there to know the results, I too was eager to know my result. As I made myself ready with a pen and pad to note down the result. A voice from behind called me and said, give it to me, I will write it for you. It sounded to be a familiar voice, but to ascertain myself, as I turned around there she was “my class teacher”. In normal circumstances it is always the student serving the teacher but this was just the reversal. What could have made her act so? I obediently gave her my pen and pad, she noted down the marks and that was it.

We were in Level-2 (neveau-2, French), one more time she was my class teacher. Level-2 had more in roads in to the language; we were enjoying every bit of it. One day I saw her  upset, the usual charm was missing, she left the class twice in between to meet the head of the department. The class ended, the student had left, as she lifted her bag to leave the class, I stopped her and asked, “Is everything OK”, she denied, I insisted. It is then she made clear that the exam data were missing and the head of the department was not happy. I told her “Can I help you?”, she asked me How?. I told her, remember, you wrote it with your own hands and gave it to me. She told “It has been long time, do you still have it?” The next day I handed over her the sheet and the problem was solved. One again the charm was restored and things got normal.

This particular incident left me thinking. I asked myself “Who helped whom?” with a short term perspective the answer would be “madam helped me” and with a long term perspective it would be “madam helped madam”. After all in life “what goes around, comes around”      

WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND-1

Cycles, cycles and cycles, it is cycles everywhere. Planetary motion, appearance of the comet, waxing and waning of the moon, ebb and the tide in the oceans, the cycle of seasons, Nitrogen cycle, Carbon dioxide cycle, Water cycle. Life cycle (birth-death-birth or death-birth-death) and in life too, what goes around comes around, forming a cycle.

These cycles function noiselessly, ceaselessly, affecting the intended recipients. Cycles relate to matter and space (space science, environmental science), cycles relate to life, politics, society, behavior and so on. This article is focused on behavioral concern.

Completion of studies ends the classroom phase and directs one towards the field. The theoretical knowledge gathered so far is required to be put in practice. Companies recruit fresh graduates and train them to run their business. A fresh batch of graduates was posted in the field under the guidance of the senior operators. This phase is a unique phase in life; youth, knowledge and eagerness all gathered at one place are sure to influences promptness of the response.  With the slightest blaring of the announcement over the loud-o-phone the trainees would be on their toes. This behavior would irritate the senior operators, once a senior operator stopped a trainee as he approached to attend the loud-o-phone and said, you should reply only after the third announcement. The trainee succumbed to the senior operator and in days to come this statement became a policy put in to practice. Few weeks later the senior operator was promoted to the post of inside operator and transferred to another plant.

Few years later the trainee was now no more a trainee, he had turned into a confident operator and was able to manage his job well. He was transferred to the same plant where the senior operator was transferred. One day he was attending a critical task in the field; it took him, some time to reach the loud-o-phone. The senior operator in an excited tone asked: “Why does it take so long to attend, how many time should I announce?” The operator in the field replied “At least three times, sir”

Often we are not aware whether the thing or the opinion we are suggesting or expressing will in the long run be rewarding or embarrassing. We are always on the look for short term goals and never both about the far reaching effecting of it. It is only when a thing boomerangs on us we sense; oh! We did something wrong. But then lot of time has passed and maybe we have crossed the point of no returns. It is better to be positive and spread positivity.

The junior in the story was my colleague in the office, a co-operative team member of the Integrated Management System project. Working together is now a thing of the past but to date he is a good friend and never misses to visit me when he is in the town.

Whatever we do leaves an impression on the other person. And it is this impression that provides the basis of action in future at an appropriate time. See you next time with WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND-2

HAVING AN AFFAIR

One leads the other follows, one calls the other listens, one attracts and the other gets attracted, one allures the other gets allured. Closeness begets a bonding, closeness begets a relationship that goes on and on for the whole life.

It is a call from within, making distances disappear and closeness creep in. With the heat of closeness comes forgetfulness and legalization of this closeness gets forgotten. People say “He as an affair”, “She has an affair”. Affairs are always alluring and particular in its infancy. These alluring affairs are excellent stuff for cooking up gossip stories. If the affair continues and lasts long people say it as “live in relationship”, a term widely used now a day.

Affair! When they happen, how they happen, and why they happen nobody knows.They are unpredictable. I too fell prey to it. It happened very early in life. Once in love, always in love. Particularly the first love is easy to digest but hard to forget. In life we come across people, I came across a lady and got married to her legally. That old affair still continues, it does not complain about me getting married. It continues to be calm and patient; it demands nothing but donates a lot. It gives me pleasure that could be felt by nobody else but me. The only thing I need to do it is give it some time. Life continues to be a joyful, blissful, wonderful and a graceful experience. Two decades later, I had a third affair. This one has a different name but has the same nature as my first affair. Let me tell you I didn’t forget to legalize it.

Many people are prone to infection. They easily get infected. I started doubting myself to be prone to infection. Not prone to viral infection but prone to affair infection. One cannot control virus and even more difficult is to control getting infected by an affair. Better for me is to give up, I have decided not to resist but to succumb and live blissfully forever. I would not be surprised if another affair is waiting to infect me.

I am really thankful to my wife for she never bothers about affairs in my life, since they keep me busy and don’t give me a chance to bother her.

Of the 3 ladies in my life one occupies physical space while the other two occupy mental space.

These fertile ladies have produced babies.

The second lady has given me a boy (Vinayak) and a girl (Bhumika)

The first lady (English Language) and the third lady (French Language) have helped me produce boys(articles) and girls(poems)

After getting retired I intend to get a graduation in English literature and legalize my life long affair with English lady (English language). Till then none of us are in a hurry.

REACHING THE DESTINATION

I was watching a 100 meter race. In the pursuit of reaching the finishing mark first; a participant unknowingly crossed into the adjacent participant’s lane and got disqualified. Hours of personal efforts undergone on daily basis, along with equal involvement of the coach; well wishes of fans, friends and kith and kin did not work. What went wrong? What did the participant miss to do? What did he miss to focus on?

Having watched the competition it was time for me to start for my home. It was going to be at least one hour drive. A drive through the lush green hilly terrain, the vegetation, the flora and fauna made the environment cool and pleasant. The road around the mountain appeared like a snake retreating in the forest. Often I would come across small water stream on the road formed by water sprinkled by the water fall near the road. At times baboons crossing the road would catch one’s sight and the musical twit of different birds on tree branches would attract one’s ears. Though being born and brought up in this place, being a part and parcel of this surrounding today for the time being, nothing did relate with me. I had reached home safely.

After the dinner everybody in the family had retired to their bedroom. My wife an excellent homemaker, after a toll taking day was far away in the deep realms of sound sleep. As far as my vision could go through the glass walls of my drawing room, the earth’s ceiling was creatively decorated with a infinite, inverted, dark saucer fitted with numerous light emitting dots spread over dark ether of space. As it happened during the drive, this too was not relating to me. I was busy occupied with mental analysis of the race that I saw in the morning.

Two things in my opinion contribute to be successful in a race; action at its best and awareness all the time. Motion demand monitoring and monitoring asks for awareness. Running a race, driving a car or living a life; they all, need to meet these two criteria.

Human needs are two; comfort and peace. Comfort concerns body and peace concerns mind. Running the race of life at time, we run after money and forget peace. Money can only bring comfort. With money one can buy furniture, a car, a house, a mobile and so on. They are all means to physical comfort. On the other hand running only after peace is also not fully rewarding. Comfort cannot replace peace and peace cannot replace comfort.

The race of life doesn't have a stopover but has different onus on every leg. Heading towards the finishing leg of life, one needs to balance and achieve both the things in proper proportion to win the race of life, to reach the destination. A home for everyone and everyone in a home.

I LOVE YOU-2

With that incident I lost the little courage I had, I have been moving from the pillar to the post unsuccessfully. With every failed attempt my worry went on escalating.

I have no one else to go to and that is the reason, I have come to you. I hope you won’t let me down.

Yours is a one sided love, but think what if my husband come to know about it; hell will fall on me!

For God sake will you, will you, will you stop thinking, will you stop guessing, will you stop anticipating, will you calm down and lend me an ear.

 

She cooled and slumped down in the chair and looked at me.

I continued, I had a problem with this statement; I have a problem with this statement. The spirit behind these words has vanished into thin air. The words aren't working now a day. They don’t caste their magic-spell as they used to in the past.

Every girl whom I met took this statement negatively, at least they could have thought about my integrity. You too don’t have the patience to listen to me, I want you to respond, not to react. Your response can lift me, you reaction can ditch me.

Like you I too care for my family. I too care for my children but like the highs and lows in the ocean I am going through a low phase in my life.

My wife doesn't heed attention when I say her “I love you.”

You are a lady, you are aware of lady psychology and besides you are a friend in whom I can confide. I came to you seeking for a solution to rejuvenate my husband-wife bonding.

That friend in her came alive, her heart reached out to help me and with all sincerity she said there is a place and time for everything in life. When she is occupied help her, when she if free care for her.        

Listen carefully “The way to a man’s heart passes through his stomach and the way to women heart passes through her eyes”

If you don’t look at her in the eyes, she feels you don't mean it, she feels you are not serious, she feels you are not sincere, she feels ignored, she takes you casually. 

Hold your wife’s hand, look into her eyes and tell her “I love you” then on you won’t find the need to walk up to me with this question any more.

While I was thinking over what she said; she took me by the back, gave me a gentle push and said it is time to act, not to think. Go hurry up, don’t be late. 

All the best.

As I turned to leave (hoping the advice to work) the timer was staring at me with the red card held high, cautioning me of getting disqualified. I left the stage.

Ha, ha, ha

I LOVE YOU-1

If the topic is known to you well in advance, you have time to gather thoughts but what if you are called on the stage and asked to speak on a topic you never guessed about. The topic may appear simple for the audience but it may be extremely difficult to speak on, especially when you happen to be a person considered to be able to speak on any subject given to you. Once I landed into such a situation.

The topic was: What is the one dangerous and needy thing that you dared to do?

I started off, I have a lady friend, once I walked up to her and said “I love you”. (Before I continue further; you might be having a whirlpool of thoughts. You might be thinking would she be unmarried, or would she be married? Not only questions; you might be having answers ready too. If she was unmarried she might have replied “I am already in love with someone, sorry houseful”, If she was married she might have replied but I am a mother of two children. Let me bring an end to it; she was a married lady.)

No sooner did she hear it, she was looking at me into my eyes, her eyes questioning mine. Though powerful at body language and eye gestures, I found myself losing ground. Instead of using eye gesture I thought it wise to use verbal language.

Me: This statement has been troubling me since long and with such gesture from your side it has turned to be more troubling.

She: I am a mother of two beautiful children, a wife to a caring husband and that statement of your is not acceptable to me.

Me: Dear, I have no other person in the world to whom I can express that worry of mine.

She: But your worry can bring worries to my family.

Me: Dear, if you try to understand my worry I think you can free me from it.

She: Sorry, I cannot help you. It is better you go to an unmarried lady.

Me: It is going to be a “From a pillar to the post” experience.

She: Whatever it be, I can’t help!

Me: Let me tell you that I approached the lady who sits to your right in the office. She told me that she was in love with her college friend.

Me: About the girl who sits to your left in the office she told “she was engaged and getting married in a month’s time”

Me: And the girl who sits to the far left in the office she said “she is leaving the country in a week’s time for further studies and she doesn’t believe in distant love”

Me: I even asked the girl who sits to the far right in the office. She isn’t that impressive and good looking, isn't it. Do you know what she said? Stay away or else I won’t lodge a complaint to the department boss but I will directly call the police.

See you next time with the concluding part: I LOVE YOU-2

COPYING-2

Milan, Ohio February 11, 1847, a child was born; it was the last and the seventh child in the family. Its father was a political activist and mother, a perfect teacher. This child was the mother’s apple of the eye. The child too loved its mother a lot. 

The world is very much new to a child. It has lot of questions, confusions, doubts and queries to be clarified. It always tries to get a satisfying answer; if it gets an unsatisfying answer the quest for a perfect answer continues noiselessly. This quest takes him through strange ways, strange behaviour and at times strange thoughts; it may pose bizarre questions to the parent, teacher or any elderly person he feels, approachable.

The child in discussion was a hyperactive child. A hyperactive child is not bad, lazy or stupid but is prone to distraction. Its teacher found it difficult to handle. Its mother preferred to teach it at home.

One morning, not seeing it around, its mother called it, once, twice, thrice; she continued to call. It kept on answering and continued to remain in bed. Not able to bear it, its mother, entered the bedroom, caught it by the hand and pulled it out of bed. The child was speechless and the mother awestruck. On the bed lay five to six eggs. When questioned, the child calmly answer: “When the hen sits on the eggs the chickens hatch out of the eggs, would the same thing happen if I sleep on the eggs?” ….. The child later grew up to be Thomas Alva Edison.

In the above story the child leaves the mother awestruck. Let us see what happens when a copying occurs between a husband and a wife. 

A motivational speaker was regaling his audience.

He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience went silent and shocked.

The speaker continued: "And she was ….. My mother!" (Laughter and applause)

A week later, a top manager inspired by the motivational speaker tried to regale his wife with the same joke.

He was a bit hung after the drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage. Note able to recall for few seconds the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out"....and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Moral of the story: "Don't copy if you can't paste"

FROM HICCUP TO HA, HA, HA

What happens when a chocolate from a child’s hand disappear, what happens to youngster whose mobile goes missing. What happen to a lady when her shopping trip gets cancelled and what happen to a speaker when a Toastmasters meeting is declared cancelled.

The same thing happened at Saudi Kayan Toastmasters Club. It was not just one meeting but meetings in a row that did not happen. A gasping person can be supported by resuscitation. A gasping person can be moved to intensive care unit, but what to do with a gasping club.

 

Me and Jamaan Al-Ghamdi were asked to revive the club but the modus operandi was not known to anyone of us. In the toastmasters we don’t learn by reading books, we learn by performing. I was reminded of a beautiful saying “If you sincerely decide, the whole universe conspires to get what you aspire” and we aspired to revive the club.

In the initial stage there were no speaker, we would only do the table topics. We would explain the benefits of toastmasters, we would emphasis that there is room for improvement for everyone and anyone who has the will. We stressed that every phase in life is a phase in transition; likewise your shortcoming too is a phase in transition. There are living examples in Saudi Kayan Toastmasters Club who would agree to it.

Proper planning paved the road to success and becoming the President’s Distinguished Club. Few corporate clubs achieve it. Apart from planning we carefully and attentively listened to the person who had the last say; we often thought about how to widen the scope, we though how to bring in people who were not able to attended the meeting. The committee decided to start the customized lunch hour meeting which last for one hour. It catered to two prepared speeches and three table topics. More guests visited our meeting, meeting the target now was a cake walk.

The executive committee was successful in reaching out to the lower half of the organization chart and the next focus was to reach out for the apex of it. The Toastmasters Day conducted on 13.12.2011 served the purpose. Now it has become a regular feature of the club. The management at Saudi Kayan appreciates and supports the Toastmastering Club Activities with open heart.

Toastmasters are able to see the shift, from who he was and what he is. Uncontrolled- stammering, low self-esteem, inefficiency in organizing ideas, fear of speaking without notes are now things of the past. We address it in a structured way.

Now a days neither my name appears in the agenda nor do I have a role in the meeting but I happen to be a part of the audience just like any other person. Can any person feel happy doing nothing? I have an easy answer Yes I do, when I see the new faces on the stage.

It is like the sons who have turned adult and are running the show; the father sits, watches and rejoices thinking his effort are rewarded.

Jamaan has left, I too will leave sometime but the Saudi Kayan Toastmasters Club that has taken shape will continue to reward the youth who patronize it for all time to come.

WHAT’S UP?

Oxford dictionary defines revolution as “a forcible overthrow of a government or social order, in favor of a new system” another definition is “a dramatic and wide-reaching change in conditions, attitudes, or operation”. History has witnessed bloody revolutions, white revolution, green revolutions, and now it is witnessing a silent revolution. Bloody revolutions were about gaining power, white revolution was about making milk availability, green revolution was about afforestation (planting trees) and silent revolution is about mobile phones.

From a simple talking and messaging machine it has become a smart machine providing a horde of services; supporting these services are numerous application of which the most popular one WhatsApp Messenger is a proprietary, cross-platform instant messaging application for smartphones. In addition to text messaging, users can send each other images, video, and audio media messages.

My daughter once told me about an incident that happened in her friend’s house. The family has four members and all four have smart phones. Though they live under the same roof, they prefer messaging over talking. Once it happened that the son left his socks lying on the bed. The mother who noticed them, pictured and messaged, “Put them in the right place” The son was quick to reply, why only me? Have a look at this; what do you say? The son had pictured his father who was lying flat on the sofa. The twit from his wife made the annoyed husband move to his bedroom leaving the TV on; fifteen minutes later his deep sleep was interrupted by a message “Who will switch off the TV?” He replied “The maid”

Human voice has tone and inflexion which can work wonders but we prefer machine touch over human touch. Youngsters are very much fond of music. With mobile in the pocket and handset in their ears, they get lost. Hardly can they hear you and it can be one of the causes of strained relation between the parent and the child.

Go anywhere, you find almost everyone lost in his mobile machine. While passing through the security check, the security personnel is busy messaging, children are busy gaming, youngster are busy chatting, salesman busy ordering, stock traders are busy transacting, and housewife with gossiping.

Historic invasions fade away but scientific invasions grip us cascadingly. Einstein introduced time and space uniquely. Mobile is working on it uniquely; every second of yours and every inch you have is being transgressed stealthily by this machine. One can be away from his boyfriend/girlfriend but being away from it is not an affordable proposition. We are closely bonded with this machine. It doesn’t spare you even in your washroom and at your bed side. It is mandatory for some to be connected 24 x 7, many feel it necessary to be connected 24 x 7 and the remaining will feel the need to be connected 24 x 7.    

Ali, my neighbor’s sons who has just learned walking wants his dad’s iPhone to play with. Waiting at the Delhi airport, on my way to Vadodara; I spotted an elderly person in his seventies trying to learn the intricacy of iPhone from his daughter in law. 

Decades before children used to play marbles, adults used to play chess and elders used to play with rosary. 

So, what's up? Time has changed and now we all play with mobiles. 

A TRIBUTE TO LADIES, AN APPEAL TO MEN

I love watching Nat. Geo. Wild; once while watching it I happened to come across life style of Lions. The screen showed a big family of Lions, Lioness and cubs. It seemed they had relaxed, enjoyed the shade of the tree and the breeze of the season. Life is not only about living in the present but also about planning for the near future and the near future was about feeding the whole family. It was meal time.

The three Lionesses took the lead. The considerations those demanded attention were; they should look for a big kill (to feed the whole family), isolating the big animal from its big and defensive herd and finally overpower it, would it be easy? The only way left was to stop thinking and start acting.

It took careful consideration spotting a prey but it was not alone. Isolating it happened only after difficult maneuvering, often interrupted by sporadic fight back from the herd. The final phase was yet to be accomplished; driving the claws and the flesh-tearing teeth deep down in to the body of the buffalo till it gives up. It took few minutes for the task. The buffalo lay dead, the whole family started enjoying the meal while the three Lioness stayed back. They joined when most of them had finished.

In the human society too since the art of agriculture came into existence women have taken the lead and contributed a lot. Go to the rural areas you will still find queue of women return home after a full day work in the fields. It is not only about the rural front; look wherever you can lay your eyes on,  home front, education front, office front, war front, political front and even space front, are they not contributing working shoulder to shoulder with men?

Few minutes before writing this blog I was scrolling down my facebook account, when I came across a post carrying a remark on a beautiful teacher. The remark read “When such beautiful teacher is around the chance of clearing the exams are a round (zero)” There were 29 likes and a comment read “May be my ATKT could be due to this reason” Appreciating someone’s beauty is one thing and blaming someone’s beauty is another. I think somewhere we went wrong in up-keeping and guarding values.

Think our family to be a cart having two wheels and the passengers to be the kids. Imagine one wheel to be the father and the other to be the mother. What if the father doesn't move in harmony with the mother’s motion? The journey doesn't stop, it is not destined to stop, continue it will but teaching bitter lessons and disrespectful attitude which reflects when the children reach adulthood flexing their muscles and exhibiting their strength.

Dec 16, 2012 a 23-year-old female physiotherapy intern was beaten and gang raped in a bus by six persons, passed away 13 days later. That day onward every day, news paper and news channels carry unabated reports of rape incidents. I feel sick when I think where is the society, the legislature, the judiciary and the administrations heading for. Are they lost???

Surgeons say, we can stitch torn vaginas but we cannot stitch torn minds. Judges do admit: Justice delayed is justice denied.  Let us address this cause and create an atmosphere of trust and respect. We the men owe it to the Ladies.

If she wouldn't have wished we wouldn't have existed.

COPYING-1

Long ago there was a cap seller. He used to travel from one village to another to sell his caps.  The distance between the two villages never used to be the same. Sometimes commuting between two villages would take him less time and sometimes more; also the nature of road would vary. Sometimes it would be through open land, sometimes through the meadows and sometimes though the dense woods. Once he happened to be on a long route, having traveled half way he felt tired, he spotted a shady tree, lowered his basket full of caps, stretched and started relaxing.  Soon he was in deep sleep. It had been sometime when his sleep was disturbed by noises on the tree branches above him. As he opened his eyes he was shocked to see the monkeys on the branches wearing caps; his basket lay there on the ground completely empty.

He felt he was completely ruined. What next? Should he give up and go away or should he act and get his caps back. The first thing that came to his mind was to threaten the monkeys. He threatened the monkeys; the monkeys threatened him in return. He scratched his forehead; the monkeys too scratched their forehead. A glimpsed of joy flashed through his heart there was a chance of getting the caps back. “The monkeys were copying him”. He threw his cap on the ground. The monkeys were not late in responding. This was anticipated to happen. He quickly collected all the caps and went on his way to the next village wearing a smile. (Moral: Wisdom helps one to overcome difficulties)

Indian culture is full of such stories (Panchatantra (Five principals) and Aesop Fables) interwoven with life incidents and wisdom. The stories are narrated by the parents and grandparents to the children in the family.

The entire world is a stage and every person is copying the other person. Observe any person he is copying someone or the other, knowingly or unknowingly.

I have been a keen observer of children while at play. The boys imitate their father and the girls imitate their mother. It happens naturally. The boy imitate bossing, going to the office, passing orders, the girls imitate cooking, soothing the baby doll, cleaning up their Barbie doll, getting dressed up, dealing with household chores and so on.

As the children march into their teens, they start copying their ideal person in one or the other way. It may be a celebrity, an actor, an actress, a politician, a social worker and why not a world champion of public speaking. They would copy the hairstyle, dress up, mannerism, communication style etcetera.

As we move toward the later part of life we listen to a preachers quote the words of the preacher do what he says, do how he does, advise as he advises and console as he consoles. See you next time with the concluding part COPYING-2

GENERATION GAP

It is time the child is knocking the doors of puberty and is on the point of experiencing the arrival of sweet teens, during this phase the body experiences a rapid physical and psychological growth. Puberty is followed by adolescence, the point of entering adulthood. As such there is no demarcating line separating puberty and adolescence.

  

Thoughts start consolidating and the teenager starts have a firm belief of its own on an issue, on a topic, it can be an event too.

When the teenager’s belief and the belief of its parent do not match, when their opinion differ, we call it “GENERATION GAP”

As the name suggests it is a gap between two generations; namely the preceding generation and the succeeding generation, the elder generation and the younger generation.

The younger generation operates, focusing on the future. The elder generation operates,  referring to the past. The younger generation operates on hopes, the elder generation operates on experience.

One sees the need of a smartphone, the other needs an instrument to talk, one sees the need of high end laptop the other sees the need of an accounting and a computing machine. Both may be right but then does it address the prevailing generation gap?

Time changes, values change, perceptions change and along with it change the needs. Bicycle was a luxury then, car is a necessity now; landline was a luxury then, smartphone is a necessity now; graduation was respectable then, doctorate is common now; flying was a dream then, frequent flying is a reality now.

In the Indian culture one of the names of the world we live in is (sansar) its elaboration is (sansarti iti sansar). It means that which is change all the time. The only permanent thing about this world is “It is permanently changing”. In short it is dynamic.

Once a friend of mine happened to travel by train, no sooner did he enter the platform, he saw that the train had already started moving. Now to get on board what should my friend do? He should run, isn’t it? but then, how fast? Obviously a little faster than the train.

Here lies the answer, to be in touch with a dynamic thing you need to be dynamic, not only dynamic but dynamic to the right extent if we want to board the train. It is not only about being physically dynamic, equal emphasis should be laid on being dynamic mentally. 

The younger generation is dynamic, they are always up to something, the pool of energy within them renders them restless. 

Youth is a symbol of energy and old age is a symbol of wisdom. Let the younger generation and the elder generation join hands together, to minimize, to nullify the Generation Gap and synergize  a better tomorrow, a better life and a better world.

FACEBOOK YOU AND HIM

May 2013 I had been to India to attend the marriage of my brother’s daughter. It was a festive ambiance in the house. Relatives had arrived few days earlier to spend more time with their near and dear ones. Few friends of my niece had also come to stay. The day I reached my village, my niece introduced me to her friend. She was Khusboo (Fragrance), a lively, friendly, ever smiling girl. She was quick on being friendly. In the evening the youngsters had decided to go out for a walk in the meadows. She came up to me and asked “Would you join us?”.  Few moments later as we walked, groups were formed by natural selection. Except few, most of them were new to each other, , Khusboo was walking with me. She kept on asking me questions to quench her curiosity; how often do you visit this village? Do you like village life? How is life in Saudi Arabia? Do you like dancing? Are you going to dance during the music party? I replied coolly and calmly. Her next question was “When will you visit next time?” I told here, after six months but you can get in touch with me through facebook; don’t you have a facebook account? I asked her.  To my surprise her reply turned out to be “NO”.  

A girl in my neighborhood too did not have it, and to date also, she does not have it. She was a student then, she is a mother now. Few ladies and girls whom I know when asked said “we prefer to stay away from it”. Perhaps they do not want to invite troubles.

On the other hand technological advancement has made life fast. Computer and internet have transgressed into every corner of our life. Resources like water, power, shelter have become scare and so is the case with time. Many of us find it difficult to spare time for a one on one talk. Things have started switching from real to virtual. Socializing too has gone virtual to a larger extent. Facebook is one such virtual socializing platform on which people with mala fide intention mingle with people of bona fide intention. 

As I write this article (Sep 04, 2013 05.00 pm), I am simultaneously watching a news channel which reports how a boy (him) met a girl on the facebook, developed intimate relations and fell in love. The boy expressed his desired to meet her. He called her at a hotel where the boy committed a gang rape with the help of his friends.

There are many fake accounts on the facebook, the fake account holder (him) intends to take revenge. He operates it in the name of a girl or a lady, he is aware of. He manipulates her bio-data and befriends a boy. The friendship gets more intimate, scales new heights and transforms into love. Further the trickster asks the boy to come to her house and talk to her parents about their marriage. When the boy reaches the girl’s house he finds that his girlfriend is a married lady and doesn't operate a facebook account. The poor guy needs to be lucky to escape being manhandled by the girl’s family.

Few days back I received a message saying somebody (him) hacked his facebook account and was posting indecent photos and videos. The smartness of the act was the account holder could not see these posting but all his friends could. 

Every person likes expressing oneself, likes being congratulated, likes being liked but emotional, physical or informative exposure calls for caution. Formerly we were threatened by underworld and cyber-world has added up.