GLIMPSES OF LOVE

God created human being, and endowed him with a pair of ears; but he did not create them alone, they were created along with a wish. From the day they were created them to the day they will be buried, they long for one thing. They always and always expect somebody, to say “I LOVE YOU”. Everyone is not lucky enough to listen this; but the presence of love can be experienced by us by observing action of the persons around you. So what if love doesn’t get translated into a verbal language, so what if it cannot fill the space in your ears, love has a different language and it is capable to fill the space around you and within you.

Two great personalities of pre and post independence era of India; Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru and Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel both had few similarities in life.

Nehru in 1916 married Kamala. In 1936 Kamala died at a young age of 37 due to tuberculosis. Nehru never remarried. Indira Gandhi the only child of Jawaharlal Nehru served as the Chief of Staff of her father's highly centralized administration between 1947 and 1964

Sardar Patel's was married to Jhaverba. In 1909, Jhaverba was hospitalized for a major surgical cancer operation. Her health suddenly worsened and despite successful emergency surgery, she died in the hospital. Patel himself decided against marrying again. Sardar Patel’s daughter Maniben stood by her father participated in the Non-Cooperation movement and the Salt Satyagraha. In the 1930s she became her father's personal aide, also caring for his personal needs. She served her father closely until his death in 1950.

Kiran Bedi, the first and highest ranking Indian woman who served Indian Police Service, was once asked. Would she like to be reborn? She replied “Only if she had the same parents.”

Bhumika my daughter, has some other plans, she is dedicated to disturb me if I am seriously lost in something; may be reading a newspaper or mending something. She wants to make her presence felt, she expects my attention.

Once I asked her let us assemble for lunch, she told, I am fasting today, I asked her, for what? She didn’t reply. Next week the same day she was there with us for the lunch. I inquired are you not fasting today? She said my fasting is rewarded. I asked, what is it? She coolly replied “You got selected for the job”. This little soul knew nothing big, but it knew, it could fast.

Before getting married she has once again demanded attention, reunion of family so that she can have quality time, she knows she is just and I know I need to respect.

Understanding concerns spread, and love concerns depth; we say he is a man of great understanding and she is deeply in love with him. Daughters never grow old and their love never gets shallow. Daughters are oceans of love, oceans have depth and so deep is the love of a daughter.

See you next time with "Glimpses of Understanding"

SIP-2

Engineering has two aspects, the pure aspect and the applied aspect, the classroom aspect and the field aspect likewise why can’t SIP have two aspect; the stock market aspect and life aspect.

Two important things to be taken care of in SIP are periodicity and putting. We periodically put in money that in the end results in a big asset. Likewise do we get in touch with our children and put something positive in their life. Having been sincere with periodicity and putting the other two things to be taken care of, are duration and patience. The stock market is cyclic in nature; it creates highs and lows, tops and bottoms. One should have patience and not be moved by the market moves, over and above this; one should continue investing over a longer duration.

In life too one should have a periodic dialogue with his children putting in positivity over a long duration of time. Dealing with the child one may face consent or dissent, an acceptance or a rejection, a smile or a frown, laughter or a cry. Obedience or disobedience, excellent performance or under-performance, the bottom line is one need to have patience.

If in a gathering, someone whom we know passes by without acknowledging, without paying attention, how do we feel? A sympathetic call to our pet sends its tail wagging. If it is so important for our pets, is it not equally important for us human beings. Attention and acknowledgement are essential to human beings.

“Grain by grain forms a mountain, drop by drop forms an ocean”. Day by day one needs to invest time and care, in his or her child’s life.

Now a day there is a paradigm shift from a labor oriented approach to a machine oriented approach. One is seldom wise in selecting between the two. Technology has a host of range to offer and the cartoon channel comes in as an easy option to keep a child occupied. The communication between the child and the TV is a monologue. The TV speaks and the child listens. The child doesn’t have the option to be listened. The child gets obsessed by the cartoon characters. Is one’s child developing?

 

In reality the need of a child is dialogue, an interactive communication. The child is trying to open up and understand the world around. It has many questions, many doubts, many confusions. Are they being answered? Are they being explained? Are they being attended? Are they being sorted out?

Learning happens with questioning, the more you ask, the more you learn. Does your child have an option to question? Does it have a questioning window? A questioning window has twofold benefits. 1. It helps the parents to organize, update and prepare themselves.  2. It slowly and steadily grooms the child’s personality. The windows on the walls when opened bring sunshine and breeze (pleasantness), the questioning windows when opened brings in the transformation of house into a home. 

Everybody buys or builds a house only to get a home at a later stage in life. Have a SIP, when in the market, work on a Systematic Investment Plan, while at home, work on a Sympathetic Investment Plan. See you next time with "Glimpses of love"

SIP-1

Inflation hits hard, the rise in inflation outruns the pay-rise. A common man struggle ceaselessly to arrest it; but in vain. One comes to know that investing in stock market can reduce its effect but stock market is a risky place; one needs to know the nuance of entering the stock market at the right time and quitting it at the right time. No matter how smart one is but the fact remain “Nobody is wiser then the market”. Many have borne the brunt. A financial consultant comes to his rescue with an offer namely “SIP” this is a short form of Systematic Investment Plan where in one invest in small amounts periodically over a long period of time. Financial world calls it an asset building instrument.

One’s money is indirectly invested in the stock market through this scheme, run by a fund manager who knows his job well. The more the duration the time leverage works out well and without strenuous effort one builds an asset; surely a wiser way of doing things.

Once I had been to my friend’s house, like me he too is a forced bachelor. Our families visit us one in every six months.

His wife posed me a question. Why don’t  children listen to their parents? Why do they get angry?    

Children get angry because of uncertainty, because of doubts, because of less confidence. They have a right to be so because of the limited exposure they have. We on the other hand though grown up, having more exposure, more experience, more knowledge, tend to be short tempered and tend to get excited. The child just replicates this. We are just in our conventional mode. The child is surrounded a code of dos and don’ts, we do not give the child a bit of liberty to stretch his hands, to stretch his wish, to stretch his mind, to stretch his heart. Ultimately what come out is anger, and disobedience.

Contemporary times have brought us from undivided families to nuclear families. The need of the day demands the family to have a DIG (Double income group) status, where in both the husband and the wife are earning members. The status rises, the income rises but daily chores of life remains the same and the time (available) on the other hand gets less; almost all DIG families face this. Life seems to be a candle burning on both the ends; with mind messing up, decisiveness diminishing, patience percolating and anger escalating. The parents are in the same frame of mind, the child is angry and the parents are angry, the child is angry because the parents do not understand and the parents are angry because the child doesn’t obey.  

     

April 24, 2013, place Indira Gandhi international airport, terminal 03, it was 10.30 in the morning. Placed on a back to back sitting arrangement, I was lost in reading. A shout from the back pulled me out of the book. A mother was scolding her two to three year old son. Behave yourself, enough is enough, you think you are being smarter, the reality is you are being an Idiot. She kept on repeating those words, shortly her husband arrived and they left. I was deeply disturbed.

Did that lady have a SIP? A SIP to invest in her child's life, is she had one, what would she be investing? 

A SIP in the stock market can help one build a house, and a SIP in life can help one build a home. See you next time with "SIP-2"

THE STORY OF NARESH IYER

I have attended many Toastmasters meetings. In a Toastmasters’ meeting one is expected to speak being focused on the objectives of the project. Seldom would one find so. During one of my visit to Ibn Zhar Toastmasters club I found a person who was analytically focused about what he spoke. I came to know he was a Lean six sigma specialist and his approach of being focused and analytical was a trait he owed to his profession. I learned that he was a well-read man. The club members used to call him Naresh Iyer.

The visits to Ibn Zhar were occasional and they remained at low profile till 2010-11. Come 2011-12 and TM Khalid Matlagaitu emerged as the District-79 Governor. He propagated the idea of language clubs under which Jubail Tamil Toastmasters Club was one of the clubs that came into existence. I was Assistant Area-17 Governor (Education & Training) and JTTC was under jurisdiction of Area-17.

In one of the JTTC meetings Naresh, Uma and myself were present. She came to know that my family name was Patel and it was during the tea break that she came up to me and asked “Are you from Gujarat?” I replied in affirmative; She replied back, that she was born and brought up in Gujarat, particularly Porbander, the city of Mahatma Gandhi and Naresh was born and brought up in Amdavad. She was happy to relate to somebody from her state of residence. She gracefully invited me to be her guest someday.

Three months down the line Saudi Arabia Toastmasters Annual Conference (SATAC) was scheduled to take place at Dammam Sheraton. Waheed Lateef the conference chairman was looking for dedicated and committed Toastmasters who would share his responsibilities. He wanted me to be the chairman of Public relation and media committee, further more Naresh would be supporting me. I expressed a different opinion, why not have it the other way, let Naresh lead and me assist him. Naresh accepted it and then started our team work. Naresh was very clear in his vision, as usual he would analyze things to the finest details. He wanted me to specifically focus on e-magazine. He efficiently managed a conglomeration of diverse team members. The hidden hand behind his apparent personality and success is Uma whom he has narratively described as “Those beautiful eyes” and in response Uma says “I love him for the reason he is a person so open that he never masks himself, the feelings from his heart come out through his words unaltered.”

Back home many would like to listen to me, some student expressed that they came to learn French but the learned many things apart from French, in the Toastmasters many used to ask me, how do you organize your speech? How do you arrive to the climax of your speech? From where do you get thoughts? These were the questions those inclined me towards the thought of writing a book.

It was on our way to Damaam that I expressed my desire of writing a book. He expressed, instead of a book, why not write a blog? I told him I do not know anything about it. One day he invited me to be his guest, opened a blog site for me, loaded five of them and said this is your baby, take care and keep going, when in trouble, call me. When I expressed my thanks, he said it’s nothing; anybody could have done it for you.

For him it might be like igniting a match stick but for me it caused a bonfire and made things visible clear. It has helped me set a benchmark for myself; it has helped me reach you readers across the globe which wouldn't have happened had I opted to write a book. This blog marks the 51^st blog on Emergence and I owe Naresh a big thanks and a big hug.

THE STORY OF NEHA PATEL

One evening the whole family was relaxing after dinner. Our backdoor neighbor dropped in. He was at our place to invite us to a party. He was migrating to Canada. He was hopeful of making a good living in Canada.

Few weeks later my wife came up with a thought. Shouldn't we hope for a better living? Shouldn’t we try for Canada? I told her, I will think over. Aware of my procrastinating attitude she kept reminding me time and on but I on the other hand was thinking, with food in the stomach, grains in the store, cash in the bank and a job on hand, is Canada worth trying for?

She believed in the quote “Persistency pays” not only by words but by spirit also. Her questioning continued, finally to calm her I approved it. The next day we were in Neha’s office. Neha is one of the directors of Marconis Institute. It facilitates immigration and overseas studies. Of all the things I was required to furnish with the application, two things which required personal efforts were English and French. She explained all who aspire to migrate and study in English speaking country should take the IELTS Test. While this is mandatory, a certificate in French would be an added advantage.

I provided all things she needed and asked her to lodge an application. Few weeks later I received a mail asking whether I knew French; I gave a call to Neha informing her about the mail and asked the reason of inquiry. She said I have mentioned in the application form that THE APPLICANT KNOWS FRENCH. I told her but I don’t, she said “Impossible is a word found in the dictionary of fools” and ………  I know you can manage it and you will manage it”. I ended the phone.

“THE APPLICANT KNOWS FRENCH” a statement in the application was to be transformed into reality and the sole responsibility lay on my shoulders.The same day, Friday afternoon, the notice board at the Department of French, M S University read, admissions available in the morning session, the office remains closed on Saturday and Sunday. Monday morning, no sooner did the office opened I entered it and requested for an admission. Quick came the reply “No vacancy”. I pleaded and succeeded. That was not all. 

In my quest for firstly meeting the requirement and later on of learning French through level one, level two and then the Diploma has taken me through different experiences; experiences of being through adverse conditions, being focused, public relations, time management, office and family management.

Sometimes you are pushed to the wall, does it mean the end or an opportunity.

Once a riot torn city lay disturbed for days together, the administration struggled to restore normalcy. Isolated incidence of violence continued to happen. In one of the incidents a boy running to save his life was followed by a violent mob carrying weapons; it was a question of life and death. At a point of time he found himself nearing a dead end. He mustered energy and pole vaulted the wall. Standing safe on the other side of the wall he looked at the wall and then to himself in awe, he wondered,  how could he do it?

Just like that boy, I too was pushed to the wall, the absence of clarity created the wall which did not allow me to see through, the real benefits, it was not only about getting the certificates, it was much more. Thanks Neha for putting me in front of the dead end. The rest was for me to exploit the situation and get at the receiving end. See you next time with THE STORY OF NARESH IYER.