THE STORY OF GANESH

The rush, the shouting, the crowdedness, the blaring horns, the emission spewing vehicles, the littered road and the stink were now nowhere to be felt. It had been two days, I was trying to acclimatize to my new residence A-II-254 in the Petrochemicals Township, sector II. It was a well-planned township with widely spaced rows of apartment in either side of the road. Come dusk and the parks would turn into a retiring ground for the aged, a discussion ground for the fathers, a gossip ground for the mothers and a playground for the children.

The township was newly constructed, the families had just moved in and the ladies were trying to make friends with each other. When the husbands were busy in the offices the ladies got busy with kitty parties.

Once a lady staying on the opposite side of the road straight in front of my apartment came to my wife and said “I have come to know that you are good teacher and I want you to help my son with his studies”. My wife said, that is not right, I do not teach but at times when your son has difficulty in understanding my husband can help him.

The next day the boy was at my house, we sat together, he had difficulty in understanding mathematics and it took around forty-five minutes to solve the problems he couldn't. He left wearing a smiling.

Few days later he turned up again, as usual it took around fifty minutes to solve his difficulties; few more visits revealed that he lacked the basic understanding of mathematics. I made it clear to him and asked him to work on it. He replied there is a problem with me, I am forgetful; I do not remember things. He left the place with this ending remark.

In his next visit, after solving his problems I asked him, Ganesh what was the movie that was screened in the open-air-theater the previous week? Can you help me recall it? He immediately replied, he further went on to the details of the star cast, the songs, the plot and the climax.

I told him when did you learn to lie? He was surprised, he said I never lie, every bit of information that I told you about the movie is correct to the best of my knowledge and belief. If somebody want to challenge me; I am ready to take up the challenge.

I told him how could the modus operandi of your brain be biased?  Why does it prefer to remember information about the movies and why does it prefer not to remember information about you studies. In my observations you have a fully functional brain; free from error. All that you need to do it reset your priorities and start liking it. When you start liking it; slowly and slowly you start loving it and when you start loving it you start seeing it big, you start seeing it clear, things become easier and joyous. You don’t forget. 

All stories do not have a happy ending; few weeks later the family moved to a different location and a couple of months later I came to know that Ganesh was absconding. This story happened in the late eighties. Perhaps if he happens to pass in front of me I may not be able to recognize him but my heart wishes him all the best wherever he is.

WHY DOESN’T A WIFE BECOME A GIRLFRIEND?

My heart is beating, keeps on repeating, I am waiting for you, cause love you know, time is fleeting, time is fleeting, time is fleeting. The fleeting of time one day surprises you when your ears catch the whisper “I am expecting”. For you it may be a slip into the dreamland of fatherhood but for her it is a change in her body contour, a change in her body chemistry, a change in her feelings, a change in her thought process and a change in her existence. She is trapped under the magic of motherhood and bliss of nature. The movement of the fetus inside her womb reminds her, that day are not far away, soon she would be blessed with a bundle of joy that would give meaning to her womanhood and joy to the family. The arrival of the baby send her eyes sparkling, face smiling and skin glowing. She has traveled a long way from being a girlfriend to becoming a wife and then from being a wife to becoming a mother.

She is a multitasking personality carrying the baby in her bosom and you in the heart; at time she is more attentive to her baby and less attentive to you. Everybody expects and demands attention, but there are realities to be looked at, at the same time. When attention seems to lessen relation seems to weaken, the bonding seems to loosen and anxiety seems to be risen.Pursuing our roles and duties, distances do creep in and these distances continue for life time. So what? Is not there a distance between the earth and the moon? Is not there a distance between the earth and the sun? These distances provide a room to be playful; it is when the sun moon and earth turn playful, eclipse occur and the whole world adjust their watching devices to watch this act. These celestial bodies have been playful since they came into existence.

Watching them does it occur in our mind to be playful? Perhaps we forget, and that is why the girlfriend in a wife dies a slow death every day.

The character of Himanshu (Pareshbhai) the movie Baghban beautifully portrays this act. When he speaks out a quote to his wife Shantiben, he never happens to do it right. His wife is sure he cannot do it, she always corrects him and remarks “Is you wish to quote a quote, do not mix, say one at a time.” But this never happens.

Himanshu (Pareshbhai) confesses in front of the Raj Malhotra (Amitabh Bachan) lead character, that it is her domination that cheers me up and for that reason only he misquotes, and will continue to misquote for the rest of his life only to see her smiling.    

My wife wittingly remarks about the size of my eye and asks are you able to see things properly? I tell her “I face difficulty looking to most of the things but when I want to see you, you appear distinctly clear”

She often talks about my forgetfulness; I admitted it with an exception. Aging has taken its toll but somehow I do not forget your birthday and our marriage anniversary.

Feb 14, 2014, I called her to wish a “Happy Valentine’s Day”. But before I could wish, I could feel her in my ears sounding the bells of a “Happy Valentine’s Day”

Gravity never weakens neither does love. It’s the perception and understanding that make the highs and the lows. By the way being a boyfriend and a girlfriend starts with love.

Be lovable, be playful, she has tuned in to be your wife but then you too need to fine tune and keep that girlfriend in her, alive.

A GIRLFRIEND BECOMES A WIFE …

When the breeze starts blowing and the grass starts bowing, a change is round.When the eyes start rolling and the heart starts throbbing, youth is round.When hormones start flowing, moustache starts peeping, contours start shaping, voice starts changing puberty is around. It is time for the advent of sweet teens.

Some of the process in nature occur noiselessly, evaporation and arrival of puberty; both result into accumulation, when the efforts of water vapor during evaporation reach certain height they unify and appear as clouds on the other hand when thoughts in puberty gain strength they result into ideology as such there are no fixed rules in both the process. Both process start with nothing and end up with something.

A cloud cannot remain in the sky forever, it has to pour down somewhere, it is just looking for a reason, maybe, a mountain barrier, may be a drop in temperature, may be a drop in pressure or heaviness. All it knows is to pour down but it does not know where, it is not in its control.

Ideology occurred as the outcome of puberty too cannot stay isolated, it too has to get rolling. When it sets rolling one gets attracted to the opposite sex, one starts liking the other sex but no one know why a boy starts liking a particular girl or why a girl likes talking to a particular boy. Reasons, opportunities and occasions are searched for, by both, the boy and the girl.

And wise man once said it and the youth continues to endorse it “Two is a company and three is a crowd” They enjoy the company of each other and shun the crowd and while keeping company, wishes are wished, flowers change hands, promises are made, tickets are bought, expectation raised and feeling showered.

The shower of rain drenches the earth, the fragrance of soil fills the air, the temperature, the humidity, the wetness are inevitable, they are sign of the ambiance getting inducible and overloaded; the earth cannot escape, it welcomes the monsoon and in acceptance dresses itself with greenery. Whether this beauty is the outcome of monsoon or her own wish is not a concern of my curiosity. My concern is to get lost in it.

The shower of feelings and emotions are so heavy that the time has come, the road is cleaned, the house is lit, music is just and dancing is a must. The air is filled with fragrance elevating the mood, as the sermons are read the girl appears in her bridal attire. In few moments a girlfriend will become a wife.

No doubt, she looks beautiful, the photographer will best freeze her beauty in frames but like the earth will her inner beauty be able to emerge and add to her apparent beauty, enhance the ambiance of the house she has come to, will the promises be kept, will the cheer and smile of her face be retained, will the girlfriend who accepted to become a wife be able to become a girlfriend again.

See you next time with WHY DOESN'T A WIFE BECOME A GIRLFRIEND?

GLIMPSES OF UNDERSTANDING

Education is a serious concern in India. Especially when the child is in grade 10 or 12. A bit of negligence can mislead a child’s life and liking. A child’s parents are much concerned; a slight change in the behavior pattern of the child puts them on the alert and restlessness.

It was Dec, 2003. The schools were coming to a close for the reading vacation. One day after dinner my wife expressed her concern over our son Vinayak. She said he is less interested in studies now a day. I find him whiling away time. He is in tenth grade and should work hard to get the line of his choice. Since last few weeks he doesn't take reading seriously. I told her that I will look into the matter. 

The next week I closely observed him and found my wife’s observation come true. Few days later I called him and said I wanted to talk to you. As he sat beside me I told him, at this moment consider me as your friend not as your father, tell me whatever is in your mind, pleasant or unpleasant anything would be acceptable to me.

He opened up, few weeks back I was with my friends, one of them opened up a topic on unemployment, there was long debate, in the end we left with a sad note, studies do not interest me now, there is so much of unemployment in the society, many graduates continue to stay unemployed and therefore it does not make sense getting a graduation.  

    

Affectionately I said, may god bless every parent with a son like you. He was astonished to hear this remark. I told him still there is time for you to shoulder my responsibility. When I will grow weak, I will myself ask you to shoulder my responsibility. As of now let us share my responsibility. Let me bother about investing in your education and I would request you to bother about your studies only, nothing but studies. Look at your mother she bothers about bringing meals on the table and I bother about bringing money at home.

Since that day, his journey took a slow but steady start. He pursued Aeronautical Engineering. He was more friendly and I was less fatherly.  Openness was the order of the day. He was free to express his opinion. Once he came up with a wish saying some day he would like to own a PULZAR, a newly introduced bike by Bajaj. I agreed. During his graduation I many a time reminded him, let us go and buy one. He always denied saying I will tell you at the appropriate time. He cleared his Masters in June 2012 with excellent grades. He was true then and he stood true now. Things hadn't changed. Campus interview didn't happen. He and his friends struggled to find a job. Any place he went, the employer asked for experience. Few places he attended the interview the experienced guys got selected. Finally after seven months he now serves DRDL and is now settled.

He still doesn't have a bike; I want to gift him one, on his birthday but he keeps on denying. He says it has been a long time, years on years; you have been fulfilling all my wishes with a smile. During that time I didn’t understand the value of Rupee but now when I am in the market to earn my livelihood, I realize what it takes to earn a rupee. I want to leave my life within my means.

I don't know from where he got this understanding but with every sunrise i find him more matured with every sunset i find him more calm.