COPYING-2

Milan, Ohio February 11, 1847, a child was born; it was the last and the seventh child in the family. Its father was a political activist and mother, a perfect teacher. This child was the mother’s apple of the eye. The child too loved its mother a lot. 

The world is very much new to a child. It has lot of questions, confusions, doubts and queries to be clarified. It always tries to get a satisfying answer; if it gets an unsatisfying answer the quest for a perfect answer continues noiselessly. This quest takes him through strange ways, strange behaviour and at times strange thoughts; it may pose bizarre questions to the parent, teacher or any elderly person he feels, approachable.

The child in discussion was a hyperactive child. A hyperactive child is not bad, lazy or stupid but is prone to distraction. Its teacher found it difficult to handle. Its mother preferred to teach it at home.

One morning, not seeing it around, its mother called it, once, twice, thrice; she continued to call. It kept on answering and continued to remain in bed. Not able to bear it, its mother, entered the bedroom, caught it by the hand and pulled it out of bed. The child was speechless and the mother awestruck. On the bed lay five to six eggs. When questioned, the child calmly answer: “When the hen sits on the eggs the chickens hatch out of the eggs, would the same thing happen if I sleep on the eggs?” ….. The child later grew up to be Thomas Alva Edison.

In the above story the child leaves the mother awestruck. Let us see what happens when a copying occurs between a husband and a wife. 

A motivational speaker was regaling his audience.

He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience went silent and shocked.

The speaker continued: "And she was ….. My mother!" (Laughter and applause)

A week later, a top manager inspired by the motivational speaker tried to regale his wife with the same joke.

He was a bit hung after the drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage. Note able to recall for few seconds the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out"....and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Moral of the story: "Don't copy if you can't paste"

FROM HICCUP TO HA, HA, HA

What happens when a chocolate from a child’s hand disappear, what happens to youngster whose mobile goes missing. What happen to a lady when her shopping trip gets cancelled and what happen to a speaker when a Toastmasters meeting is declared cancelled.

The same thing happened at Saudi Kayan Toastmasters Club. It was not just one meeting but meetings in a row that did not happen. A gasping person can be supported by resuscitation. A gasping person can be moved to intensive care unit, but what to do with a gasping club.

 

Me and Jamaan Al-Ghamdi were asked to revive the club but the modus operandi was not known to anyone of us. In the toastmasters we don’t learn by reading books, we learn by performing. I was reminded of a beautiful saying “If you sincerely decide, the whole universe conspires to get what you aspire” and we aspired to revive the club.

In the initial stage there were no speaker, we would only do the table topics. We would explain the benefits of toastmasters, we would emphasis that there is room for improvement for everyone and anyone who has the will. We stressed that every phase in life is a phase in transition; likewise your shortcoming too is a phase in transition. There are living examples in Saudi Kayan Toastmasters Club who would agree to it.

Proper planning paved the road to success and becoming the President’s Distinguished Club. Few corporate clubs achieve it. Apart from planning we carefully and attentively listened to the person who had the last say; we often thought about how to widen the scope, we though how to bring in people who were not able to attended the meeting. The committee decided to start the customized lunch hour meeting which last for one hour. It catered to two prepared speeches and three table topics. More guests visited our meeting, meeting the target now was a cake walk.

The executive committee was successful in reaching out to the lower half of the organization chart and the next focus was to reach out for the apex of it. The Toastmasters Day conducted on 13.12.2011 served the purpose. Now it has become a regular feature of the club. The management at Saudi Kayan appreciates and supports the Toastmastering Club Activities with open heart.

Toastmasters are able to see the shift, from who he was and what he is. Uncontrolled- stammering, low self-esteem, inefficiency in organizing ideas, fear of speaking without notes are now things of the past. We address it in a structured way.

Now a days neither my name appears in the agenda nor do I have a role in the meeting but I happen to be a part of the audience just like any other person. Can any person feel happy doing nothing? I have an easy answer Yes I do, when I see the new faces on the stage.

It is like the sons who have turned adult and are running the show; the father sits, watches and rejoices thinking his effort are rewarded.

Jamaan has left, I too will leave sometime but the Saudi Kayan Toastmasters Club that has taken shape will continue to reward the youth who patronize it for all time to come.

WHAT’S UP?

Oxford dictionary defines revolution as “a forcible overthrow of a government or social order, in favor of a new system” another definition is “a dramatic and wide-reaching change in conditions, attitudes, or operation”. History has witnessed bloody revolutions, white revolution, green revolutions, and now it is witnessing a silent revolution. Bloody revolutions were about gaining power, white revolution was about making milk availability, green revolution was about afforestation (planting trees) and silent revolution is about mobile phones.

From a simple talking and messaging machine it has become a smart machine providing a horde of services; supporting these services are numerous application of which the most popular one WhatsApp Messenger is a proprietary, cross-platform instant messaging application for smartphones. In addition to text messaging, users can send each other images, video, and audio media messages.

My daughter once told me about an incident that happened in her friend’s house. The family has four members and all four have smart phones. Though they live under the same roof, they prefer messaging over talking. Once it happened that the son left his socks lying on the bed. The mother who noticed them, pictured and messaged, “Put them in the right place” The son was quick to reply, why only me? Have a look at this; what do you say? The son had pictured his father who was lying flat on the sofa. The twit from his wife made the annoyed husband move to his bedroom leaving the TV on; fifteen minutes later his deep sleep was interrupted by a message “Who will switch off the TV?” He replied “The maid”

Human voice has tone and inflexion which can work wonders but we prefer machine touch over human touch. Youngsters are very much fond of music. With mobile in the pocket and handset in their ears, they get lost. Hardly can they hear you and it can be one of the causes of strained relation between the parent and the child.

Go anywhere, you find almost everyone lost in his mobile machine. While passing through the security check, the security personnel is busy messaging, children are busy gaming, youngster are busy chatting, salesman busy ordering, stock traders are busy transacting, and housewife with gossiping.

Historic invasions fade away but scientific invasions grip us cascadingly. Einstein introduced time and space uniquely. Mobile is working on it uniquely; every second of yours and every inch you have is being transgressed stealthily by this machine. One can be away from his boyfriend/girlfriend but being away from it is not an affordable proposition. We are closely bonded with this machine. It doesn’t spare you even in your washroom and at your bed side. It is mandatory for some to be connected 24 x 7, many feel it necessary to be connected 24 x 7 and the remaining will feel the need to be connected 24 x 7.    

Ali, my neighbor’s sons who has just learned walking wants his dad’s iPhone to play with. Waiting at the Delhi airport, on my way to Vadodara; I spotted an elderly person in his seventies trying to learn the intricacy of iPhone from his daughter in law. 

Decades before children used to play marbles, adults used to play chess and elders used to play with rosary. 

So, what's up? Time has changed and now we all play with mobiles. 

A TRIBUTE TO LADIES, AN APPEAL TO MEN

I love watching Nat. Geo. Wild; once while watching it I happened to come across life style of Lions. The screen showed a big family of Lions, Lioness and cubs. It seemed they had relaxed, enjoyed the shade of the tree and the breeze of the season. Life is not only about living in the present but also about planning for the near future and the near future was about feeding the whole family. It was meal time.

The three Lionesses took the lead. The considerations those demanded attention were; they should look for a big kill (to feed the whole family), isolating the big animal from its big and defensive herd and finally overpower it, would it be easy? The only way left was to stop thinking and start acting.

It took careful consideration spotting a prey but it was not alone. Isolating it happened only after difficult maneuvering, often interrupted by sporadic fight back from the herd. The final phase was yet to be accomplished; driving the claws and the flesh-tearing teeth deep down in to the body of the buffalo till it gives up. It took few minutes for the task. The buffalo lay dead, the whole family started enjoying the meal while the three Lioness stayed back. They joined when most of them had finished.

In the human society too since the art of agriculture came into existence women have taken the lead and contributed a lot. Go to the rural areas you will still find queue of women return home after a full day work in the fields. It is not only about the rural front; look wherever you can lay your eyes on,  home front, education front, office front, war front, political front and even space front, are they not contributing working shoulder to shoulder with men?

Few minutes before writing this blog I was scrolling down my facebook account, when I came across a post carrying a remark on a beautiful teacher. The remark read “When such beautiful teacher is around the chance of clearing the exams are a round (zero)” There were 29 likes and a comment read “May be my ATKT could be due to this reason” Appreciating someone’s beauty is one thing and blaming someone’s beauty is another. I think somewhere we went wrong in up-keeping and guarding values.

Think our family to be a cart having two wheels and the passengers to be the kids. Imagine one wheel to be the father and the other to be the mother. What if the father doesn't move in harmony with the mother’s motion? The journey doesn't stop, it is not destined to stop, continue it will but teaching bitter lessons and disrespectful attitude which reflects when the children reach adulthood flexing their muscles and exhibiting their strength.

Dec 16, 2012 a 23-year-old female physiotherapy intern was beaten and gang raped in a bus by six persons, passed away 13 days later. That day onward every day, news paper and news channels carry unabated reports of rape incidents. I feel sick when I think where is the society, the legislature, the judiciary and the administrations heading for. Are they lost???

Surgeons say, we can stitch torn vaginas but we cannot stitch torn minds. Judges do admit: Justice delayed is justice denied.  Let us address this cause and create an atmosphere of trust and respect. We the men owe it to the Ladies.

If she wouldn't have wished we wouldn't have existed.

COPYING-1

Long ago there was a cap seller. He used to travel from one village to another to sell his caps.  The distance between the two villages never used to be the same. Sometimes commuting between two villages would take him less time and sometimes more; also the nature of road would vary. Sometimes it would be through open land, sometimes through the meadows and sometimes though the dense woods. Once he happened to be on a long route, having traveled half way he felt tired, he spotted a shady tree, lowered his basket full of caps, stretched and started relaxing.  Soon he was in deep sleep. It had been sometime when his sleep was disturbed by noises on the tree branches above him. As he opened his eyes he was shocked to see the monkeys on the branches wearing caps; his basket lay there on the ground completely empty.

He felt he was completely ruined. What next? Should he give up and go away or should he act and get his caps back. The first thing that came to his mind was to threaten the monkeys. He threatened the monkeys; the monkeys threatened him in return. He scratched his forehead; the monkeys too scratched their forehead. A glimpsed of joy flashed through his heart there was a chance of getting the caps back. “The monkeys were copying him”. He threw his cap on the ground. The monkeys were not late in responding. This was anticipated to happen. He quickly collected all the caps and went on his way to the next village wearing a smile. (Moral: Wisdom helps one to overcome difficulties)

Indian culture is full of such stories (Panchatantra (Five principals) and Aesop Fables) interwoven with life incidents and wisdom. The stories are narrated by the parents and grandparents to the children in the family.

The entire world is a stage and every person is copying the other person. Observe any person he is copying someone or the other, knowingly or unknowingly.

I have been a keen observer of children while at play. The boys imitate their father and the girls imitate their mother. It happens naturally. The boy imitate bossing, going to the office, passing orders, the girls imitate cooking, soothing the baby doll, cleaning up their Barbie doll, getting dressed up, dealing with household chores and so on.

As the children march into their teens, they start copying their ideal person in one or the other way. It may be a celebrity, an actor, an actress, a politician, a social worker and why not a world champion of public speaking. They would copy the hairstyle, dress up, mannerism, communication style etcetera.

As we move toward the later part of life we listen to a preachers quote the words of the preacher do what he says, do how he does, advise as he advises and console as he consoles. See you next time with the concluding part COPYING-2

GENERATION GAP

It is time the child is knocking the doors of puberty and is on the point of experiencing the arrival of sweet teens, during this phase the body experiences a rapid physical and psychological growth. Puberty is followed by adolescence, the point of entering adulthood. As such there is no demarcating line separating puberty and adolescence.

  

Thoughts start consolidating and the teenager starts have a firm belief of its own on an issue, on a topic, it can be an event too.

When the teenager’s belief and the belief of its parent do not match, when their opinion differ, we call it “GENERATION GAP”

As the name suggests it is a gap between two generations; namely the preceding generation and the succeeding generation, the elder generation and the younger generation.

The younger generation operates, focusing on the future. The elder generation operates,  referring to the past. The younger generation operates on hopes, the elder generation operates on experience.

One sees the need of a smartphone, the other needs an instrument to talk, one sees the need of high end laptop the other sees the need of an accounting and a computing machine. Both may be right but then does it address the prevailing generation gap?

Time changes, values change, perceptions change and along with it change the needs. Bicycle was a luxury then, car is a necessity now; landline was a luxury then, smartphone is a necessity now; graduation was respectable then, doctorate is common now; flying was a dream then, frequent flying is a reality now.

In the Indian culture one of the names of the world we live in is (sansar) its elaboration is (sansarti iti sansar). It means that which is change all the time. The only permanent thing about this world is “It is permanently changing”. In short it is dynamic.

Once a friend of mine happened to travel by train, no sooner did he enter the platform, he saw that the train had already started moving. Now to get on board what should my friend do? He should run, isn’t it? but then, how fast? Obviously a little faster than the train.

Here lies the answer, to be in touch with a dynamic thing you need to be dynamic, not only dynamic but dynamic to the right extent if we want to board the train. It is not only about being physically dynamic, equal emphasis should be laid on being dynamic mentally. 

The younger generation is dynamic, they are always up to something, the pool of energy within them renders them restless. 

Youth is a symbol of energy and old age is a symbol of wisdom. Let the younger generation and the elder generation join hands together, to minimize, to nullify the Generation Gap and synergize  a better tomorrow, a better life and a better world.

FACEBOOK YOU AND HIM

May 2013 I had been to India to attend the marriage of my brother’s daughter. It was a festive ambiance in the house. Relatives had arrived few days earlier to spend more time with their near and dear ones. Few friends of my niece had also come to stay. The day I reached my village, my niece introduced me to her friend. She was Khusboo (Fragrance), a lively, friendly, ever smiling girl. She was quick on being friendly. In the evening the youngsters had decided to go out for a walk in the meadows. She came up to me and asked “Would you join us?”.  Few moments later as we walked, groups were formed by natural selection. Except few, most of them were new to each other, , Khusboo was walking with me. She kept on asking me questions to quench her curiosity; how often do you visit this village? Do you like village life? How is life in Saudi Arabia? Do you like dancing? Are you going to dance during the music party? I replied coolly and calmly. Her next question was “When will you visit next time?” I told here, after six months but you can get in touch with me through facebook; don’t you have a facebook account? I asked her.  To my surprise her reply turned out to be “NO”.  

A girl in my neighborhood too did not have it, and to date also, she does not have it. She was a student then, she is a mother now. Few ladies and girls whom I know when asked said “we prefer to stay away from it”. Perhaps they do not want to invite troubles.

On the other hand technological advancement has made life fast. Computer and internet have transgressed into every corner of our life. Resources like water, power, shelter have become scare and so is the case with time. Many of us find it difficult to spare time for a one on one talk. Things have started switching from real to virtual. Socializing too has gone virtual to a larger extent. Facebook is one such virtual socializing platform on which people with mala fide intention mingle with people of bona fide intention. 

As I write this article (Sep 04, 2013 05.00 pm), I am simultaneously watching a news channel which reports how a boy (him) met a girl on the facebook, developed intimate relations and fell in love. The boy expressed his desired to meet her. He called her at a hotel where the boy committed a gang rape with the help of his friends.

There are many fake accounts on the facebook, the fake account holder (him) intends to take revenge. He operates it in the name of a girl or a lady, he is aware of. He manipulates her bio-data and befriends a boy. The friendship gets more intimate, scales new heights and transforms into love. Further the trickster asks the boy to come to her house and talk to her parents about their marriage. When the boy reaches the girl’s house he finds that his girlfriend is a married lady and doesn't operate a facebook account. The poor guy needs to be lucky to escape being manhandled by the girl’s family.

Few days back I received a message saying somebody (him) hacked his facebook account and was posting indecent photos and videos. The smartness of the act was the account holder could not see these posting but all his friends could. 

Every person likes expressing oneself, likes being congratulated, likes being liked but emotional, physical or informative exposure calls for caution. Formerly we were threatened by underworld and cyber-world has added up.