THE STORY OF DTM PGR NAIR

July 01, 2013, the date Toastmasters International awarded me with a plaque, I was a DTM then. The award as I understand is a certification of completion of prescribed projects along the communication and leadership track and appreciation of the efforts put in by the awardee.

I turned respectable, honorable, saab…and…; but were these addresses relevant or else was I close to those addresses? To look for clues, let us travel back in time.

Project 7 of the CC Manual requires one to research his topic from sources like internet, magazine, reports, published papers, newspaper etc and support them by statistics, testimony, examples and visual aids. Having done so, one is required to deliver a speech in front of an audience. There is an evaluator to evaluate the speech. DTM PGR Nair was my speech evaluator. I had heard a lot about him; he is a gem of a person, he is excellence at its best, he is determination at work, he is an ocean of knowledge and so on.

I was enthusiastic but new to Toastmasters, me a surface swimmer and he a deep water diver. The projects material was there but how to deal with it and to what extent was beyond my grasp. He had a trait of working to the finer details of any thing that he puts his hand on. His evaluation was crisp and clear, nothing more to commend but lot more emphasis on the areas of improvement.

Thereafter we sparingly met. I continued to work on completion of my CC and CL projects. Having learned the basic tools of communication and leadership I started taking advance projects of communication and leadership tracks. Leadership is all about connecting with people, listening to them, helping them and marching along with them to reach a goal. In this process I had to visit corporate as well as community clubs. It was during some of these visits that I happened to meet DTM PGR Nair again and again.

I had a couple of chances to work with him as a grammarian, evaluator, workshop presenter, toastmaster of the day, contest judge, chief judge etc. His comments, advice, suggestion and sermons were well judged and well thought off. At times when they are delivered in the presence of your mentees they add up to your responsibility as a mentor. One after the other as I took them serious and worked on it I could feel the confidence level rising in me, I could sense the ease to tackle difficult task. I could see myself shaping up for a larger role.

I have come across instances when a person approaches DTM, he feels to wait and check whether he fits in to the honor, respect and the grandeur that comes with it or is there something left to be done or reworked.

For me it was like “Awake arise and stop not, till the goal is reached”. Personalities like DTM PGR Nair happen to come across by chance and one happens to be a lucky guy if he could make the most out of those associations. No one knows how long an association lasts. Every relation has an expiry date. Currently he is in Qatar and me in India continuing his legacy of grooming youngsters.

THE STORY OF DTM PERI

YLP (Youth Leadership Program) is an actuality of the desire to do something for the school children. The Toastmasters run the show but parent also equally participate and contribute to the best of their ability. Logistics, location, finance and mentors are four important aspects to be taken care of to conduct a successful Youth Leadership Program.

Among the parents during the YLP of Dr. George was a person in the name of Peri. Though not much acquainted with him I saw him fairly engaged during the meetings. The YLP ended well and during the introduction the audience was made to know about his caring and helping nature.

Couple of years later he was made an honorary member of Elite Toastmasters club. Quality is the main concern of any Toastmasters activity, be it delivering a speech or taking up a task. Maintaining quality is a tough task for any club. It was during his presidency that he introduced the concept of QC. QC did not mean quality control but it meant quality circle. There were 6 QC and each QC was headed by a senior member of the club. This was the second phase which earned laurels for Elite.

Never judge a book by its cover and never judge a person by his stature. Peri a man of average height had started unfolding his true mettle. Being the Director (Marketing & Strategic Planning) at Farabi Petrochemicals he was constantly on the move he had very little time at his disposal. With whatever little time he had he utilized it to bring people together either by club meeting or by family get-together.

During one such family get-together amidst a karaoke session, he walked up to me and requested me to sing a song. I told him “I have never done it”. He replied “so do it now” and gave me lyrics of few Bollywood songs. Opportunities often surprise us. If you grab it you make it. I climbed the stage and sung to the best of my ability.

While parting he commented “You sing well, a bit of practice could make it better?” I call these remark “Passing Remark”. I took it seriously and in the next family meet I was once again on the stage. “Chand se parda keejiye”. The song was well received by the audience. Now I am able to understand music and singing better.

Once during his Area Governor Address he put forward the importance of communication with an appropriate example. He said “We put 07 years primary education, 03 years in secondary education, 2 years in higher secondary education, 04 years in graduation and lastly 2 years in post graduation”. Is this enough?

One may be sound at technical knowledge but the interview ordeal requires one to put these 18 years of amassed knowledge in a concise, pleasing and easy to understand way and that to in around 15 to 18 minutes. 18 years to be compressed in 18 minutes. If you click you are in, you don’t you go out. DTM Rose Joseph George says Communication Skill is Survival Skill.

  

We promised each other to meet one on one which never happened but the summation of all our meets gives me a feel of being benefited, being on the positive side.

See you next time with the story of DTM P G R Nair

THE STORY OF ZIA

Position, power, pasture surrounded dwelling, luxury car, fat bank balance, family and friends give life a vacation from worries. A person often undergoes such experience, most often while dreaming. Things are totally opposite in real time. Life appears to be entirely different in real world. Goals are not easily accomplished and target not effortlessly achieved. It happens that you are not only required to take care of your own self but also of people around you in the family and especially ageing and ailing parents.

It doesn't end there, cut throat competition, soaring inflation and company closures drains out the patience in you. You feel lonely and isolated not knowing what to do and where to go. When you are in the midst of such a phase an unexpected arrival of a friend, a relative or a well-wisher with an overseas job-offer provides you a much needed solace; it happens to be a soothing for a moment, till the time your eye fall on your aging parents meddling with something in the backyard.

Caring of parents and compulsions of life often never come to terms. They prefer to take diagonally opposite directions. Zia too, had to take decision. His conscious would not allow him to leave his parents but the pathetic condition his family was going through couldn’t be neglected. He chose to fly to the desert land of Saudi Arabia and landed in Al-Jubail.

I was introduced to him by my friend Bipin. Zia used to run a laundry. He was an embodiment of energy, whatever he did, he did it fast, I never saw slackness in any of his act while working on the ironing machine or doing the delivery. Frequent visit to his shop brought me closer to him. Sometimes he would get emotional, would ask me to wait and rush to the shop next door and returns with a can of soft drinks or Juice. I would often deny but he would not listen. I learned that weekend for him was a day of pizza, pepsi and playing cricket; at times he would insist me to join him.

Running the laundry was not easy. Though working hard from morning 08.00 till 11.00 in the night; handling man, money and machine was not easy. Meeting customer commitment and a machine breakdown would send him crazy. At times he had to arrange money and get the machines repaired. These was not all, he had to be simultaneously caring on the home front. On the request of his relatives he got married though a telephonic consent only to bring home a caretaker for his ageing parents. This marriage didn't last long. His hope of doing something for his aging parent was short lived.

One day on a visit to his shop I found him cheerful. I asked him the reason. He told that he had won a lottery of ten thousand Riyals. I inquired into the matter. I asked him: Did you buy a lottery ticket. No, he said, I received a call; it said the telephone company in a random selection picked up my cell number. It than asked me to buy six hundred Riyals worth of recharge coupons, scratch the numbers and enter them in to the system to pay for the administration charges for the delivery of the prize. He continued: “but I sense something fishy”. In between his phone rang, it was the same person on the line, asking for some more recharge coupons. Zia showed no interest. The other person insisted not to deny the wish of God; instead gracefully accept his mercy and blessing, and cooperate to complete the formalities. Zia started feeling cheated. He demanded his money back. The person on the other end demanded fifty riyal recharge coupon as administrative charges to full the money out of the system.

No explanation was required. Zia understood the intention of the person on the other end. With heavy heart he cut the line and got back to work. Few customers entered the shop. I too left the shop assuring him to come back the next day. As I walked back to my room I was trying to guess the turmoil Zia was going through. He had borrowed few bucks to buy the recharge coupons and had promised the lender to payback tomorrow.

In cheating even God is not spared.

UPDATES AND LIKES-2

Willful updates are updates where a person on his own furnishes updates. One (Makarand) of my friends always wants to be on the forefront of his socializing world. He wants to draw attention. He is a facebook-savvy person. He never misses an opportunity to put his hand on it. The very famous quote “where there is a will there is a way” aptly suits him. The moment he leaves his home an update would pop us. “On the way to Damaam airport” and few minutes later the next update “At Damaam airport” and then “Ready to board the plane”, “Airborne”, “Just landed at Mumbai Airport”, “At the immigration”, “On the way to home” and finally “At home”

Recently during the Eid vacation he had been to Qatar to visit Sudheendra and Geeta. By default up came a post with a vulture on his hand and the camels by the oasis. One of the benefits is the crew which was travelling with him automatically appeared in the posts they did not have to toil for getting update. He believes that “Idle mind is a devils workshop” and being facebook-savvy is one of the activity that keeps him busy.  He makes sure that this quote works well with his fans and followers. If not from the lap-top then from mobile but they have to like if not comment on his post. After all it is a question of survival in the socializing world. It is not only him but the crew members in the post who get likes and comments. After all it is the tally of likes and comments that matter.

Who doesn’t like to be liked? A benchmark is set to get a numbers of likes. And then starts the game; there are recommendation floating on the facebook, Sir please like it, hello dear please like. In the end, “Thank you all” I achieved this many “Likes”

Some of the facebook account-holders are so obsessed with their post that you see it being repeated over a period of time like the seasons in a year. All posts those get uploaded on the facebook can be broadly categorized into informative, religious, political, well wishing, help seeking, reactions.

One different post that I see often is a picture of oneself and below is written “I like myself”, another one is, if you are a teacher “like this”, if you are a sectarian “like this”, if you are a humanitarian “like this”, if you are a vegetarian “like this”, if you are non-vegetarian “like this”.

The labor pain had started and a lady was about to deliver a baby at a hospital. Finally when she was through, she with a tablet in her hand and the facebook page opened, inquired “Doctor tell me, whether it is a boy or a girl” I want to update my status. Not only did that lady update the status but along with her, her husband, her daughter, her son, and I leave it for you to guess…And don’t forget the likes. It seems, facebook too believes “Idle mind is a devils workshop” and keeps you busy.

UPDATES AND LIKES-1

Two days before writing this blog I received a mail written in Arabic. The only English that I could read was please update your information otherwise your account can be freezed. I took a print out and rushed to the bank. After fifteen minutes when my turn came the person on the other side of the counter said your informations are up to date, you may relax.

We live in an IT (Information Technology) age so much so that we have a graduation, post-graduation and even an MBA in IT.  Side by side the academic educations there are workshops conducted on ethical hacking and after the workshop; to be ethical or unethical is left up to the participants wish and will.

Updating information falls in two categories namely forceful updating and willful updating. The update you are required to furnished in exchange of getting your work done is forceful updating. To get the work done in a government office or a bank you may be demand information about any of the card that follows namely the election commission card, the ration card, the ATM card, ATM cum debit card, the credit card, PAN card, the latest one Adhar card and may be the passport.

Once my friend Rajeev Pillai who works for Hadded got stuck-up updating his profile for he was asked to furnish information he did not have, the system would not move further from the page he was in. In Saudi Arabia one is allowed four marriages. As he started updating his profile, the system asked his first wife’s name, having put the name as he pressed the enter key the next page that appeared asked his second wife’s name; now what to do, he did not have a second wife. He thought it wise to ask his wife. As he put across his question to his wife, she told that she was helping her brother with the same situation. Somehow with dummy character he managed to have four wives and ended the trouble. If you don’t confide in me than also you have to for he has himself confessed this in his Division Conference Humorous Speech. The likes that he received were not virtual likes but were real likes for he stood smiling as he bagged the second place winner.

Providing fake information can reward you and remand you. It is just like tossing a coin. It also matters who is at the receiving end. Rajeev was lucky enough to have the judges at the receiving end who awarded him with a trophy but if the person on the receiving end is either a police man or a judge than things could turn otherwise and your fortune can topsy-turvy into a tragedy.

The order of the day is information, fake or real, you have to provide. It is up to you to decide what to opt and do not forget that the tally of likes will surely be proportional to the decision you make. See you next time with UPDATES AND LIKES-2  

MENTORING TOASTMASTERS

We often come across terms like examiner-examinee, trainer-trainee, assessor-assessee, coacher-coachee & mentor-mentee. In these pair of words the former is the origin of an action and the later is an end to an action. These actions are known as examining, training, assessing, coaching and mentoring respectively.Mentoring is a means of providing help, guidance, and support to other persons who are often younger or less experienced. It is a role rather than a profession. A mentor is a volunteer role model, or a leader who is committed and consistent in his or her helping relationship with the other party who is usually a student or co-worker. Unlike teachers or advisors, mentors often share a personal relationship with their mentees.

In a Toastmasters club the moment a member is inducted, he is formally assigned a mentor. A careful study of the Competent Communication Manual reveals the nature of each project. These projects can be broadly classified into “Planning Project” and “Execution Projects”.

Project:1 Ice Breaker,focuses on “Execution” (A person in the first attempt is required to face the audience), Project:2 Organize your speech, focuses on “Planning” (It needs to have a structure, namely an opening, a body and a conclusion interwoven with appropriate transition), Project:3 Getting to the point, focuses on “Planning” (The project need to have a general purpose and a specific purpose), Project:4 How to say,focuses on “Planning” (It is all about choosing proper words and framing proper and easily understandable sentences), Project:5 Your body speaks, focuses on “Execution” (It is all about of putting eye gesture, facial expression and body movement to use), Project:6 Vocal variety, focuses on “Execution” (It deals with putting voice, volume, pitch and rate to create desired effect), Project:7 Research your topic focuses on “Planning” (It deals with collecting information from different source and aligning them to support your point and opinion), Project:8 Get comfortable with visual aids, focuses on “Execution” (It deals with getting used to handling different visual aids), Project:9 Persuade with power, focuses on both “Planning and Execution” (It deals with analyzing the audience and appealing to their interest using carefully chosen words, logic and emotions through body language and vocal variety), Project:10 Inspire your audience , focuses on both “Planning and Execution” (This project intends to inspire the audience personally, professionally, emotionally, spiritually, in a mood of fellowship and shared interest aided by emotion, drama and stories to move to the next higher level)

Out of the 10 projects 4 projects focuses on planning, 4 on execution and 2 on a mix of planning and execution. The mentor has a broader scope and more freedom to work in the planning projects to help his mentee gain more ground but in the execution project he has limited liberty of just guiding. It all depends on the learning and adapting ability of the mentee. While monitoring the progress of the mentee a mentor in his wisdom should exert more leverage on the planning projects and skillfully guide through the execution projects. In the final two projects he should advise and suggest only where needed and allow his mentee to walk and work alone and erect.

If the mentor on one hand doesn't bother getting bothered while bothering his mentee and if the mentee on the other hand doesn't bother being bothered completing his Competent Communication Manual, I think he is ready to take up the Advance Communication track and complete it hassle-free.  

MENTORING AS I SAW

The affinity of sodium to oxygen is such that if put in water it spontaneously combines with oxygen in the molecule of water. Carbon needs heat to combine with oxygen. Some elements need pressure and some need a catalyst for the reaction to happen. The inert elements never react. Reaction is all about forming a bond; it may be strong or weak. 

On the first day as a guest at the Elite Toastmasters Club I found Toastmasters a better platform to express ideas. I enter Toastmasters for two reasons, firstly for creativity secondly to hone my speaking skill. In the Toastmasters a members is formally assigned a mentor. Soon came the contest, I participated and lost. Having put in the best of my learning when the results don’t come through, it means I missed somewhere. I tried to understand reasons related to my failure through paying a visit to many senior Toastmasters, but in vain.

Not losing hope, I continued to learn. This learning started reflecting while I was on the podium and, then started coming, the assignment on mentoring; mentoring Youth Leaders and club members.

In jobbing it is the same raw material with a given specification on which a repetitive processing is done to get a predetermined product of desired specification.

In mentoring it is not so; every time you get a mentee with a different specification it can be: a boy, a girl, a man, a woman, adventurous, non-adventurous, receptive to ideas, partially receptive to ideas, married, bachelor and so on and so forth. All these specification help one to build a mentoring plan. For a club member a mentor also needs to look at why is he in for and whether he would prefer fast track, a medium paced track or a slow track.

Having set a plan, then comes its execution. Sincerity in execution sets the mentor- mentee relation in good tone. Mentoring is different from taking a lecture of mathematics, physics, chemistry or zoology. It always demands creativity, something new always. This is what keeps the mentee glued with you. He starts enjoying being with you, learning from you; on the other hand the you too get enriched. A mentor is able to see his mentee shaping up. It does not necessary imply that the mentee also sees the same.  

It is with this wisdom that I had to push a mentee through the contest. The aftermath of the contest left him with no words. He was holding a trophy in his hand. The mentor sees what the mentee does not see. One more similar incident did take place with a different mentee. A mentee sees inability, a mentor sees ability. It is a paradigm shift in perception.

At times a mentor is required to work on other end to get things done on this end; that brings in sound connectivity and induces confidence in the relationship.

A teacher teaches, a trainer trains, a coach coaches and a doctor dispenses but a mentor walks an extra mile. Mentoring is a relation which starts on a simple note but doesn't end, but doesn't die; once a mentor, always a mentor. Mentoring is all about creating affinity for learning, up keeping affinity for learning.

Mentoring a spectrum of people ranging from teachers to students (college and school) and industrial to non-industrial employees has been a rewarding experience for me.