UPDATES AND LIKES-2

Willful updates are updates where a person on his own furnishes updates. One (Makarand) of my friends always wants to be on the forefront of his socializing world. He wants to draw attention. He is a facebook-savvy person. He never misses an opportunity to put his hand on it. The very famous quote “where there is a will there is a way” aptly suits him. The moment he leaves his home an update would pop us. “On the way to Damaam airport” and few minutes later the next update “At Damaam airport” and then “Ready to board the plane”, “Airborne”, “Just landed at Mumbai Airport”, “At the immigration”, “On the way to home” and finally “At home”

Recently during the Eid vacation he had been to Qatar to visit Sudheendra and Geeta. By default up came a post with a vulture on his hand and the camels by the oasis. One of the benefits is the crew which was travelling with him automatically appeared in the posts they did not have to toil for getting update. He believes that “Idle mind is a devils workshop” and being facebook-savvy is one of the activity that keeps him busy.  He makes sure that this quote works well with his fans and followers. If not from the lap-top then from mobile but they have to like if not comment on his post. After all it is a question of survival in the socializing world. It is not only him but the crew members in the post who get likes and comments. After all it is the tally of likes and comments that matter.

Who doesn’t like to be liked? A benchmark is set to get a numbers of likes. And then starts the game; there are recommendation floating on the facebook, Sir please like it, hello dear please like. In the end, “Thank you all” I achieved this many “Likes”

Some of the facebook account-holders are so obsessed with their post that you see it being repeated over a period of time like the seasons in a year. All posts those get uploaded on the facebook can be broadly categorized into informative, religious, political, well wishing, help seeking, reactions.

One different post that I see often is a picture of oneself and below is written “I like myself”, another one is, if you are a teacher “like this”, if you are a sectarian “like this”, if you are a humanitarian “like this”, if you are a vegetarian “like this”, if you are non-vegetarian “like this”.

The labor pain had started and a lady was about to deliver a baby at a hospital. Finally when she was through, she with a tablet in her hand and the facebook page opened, inquired “Doctor tell me, whether it is a boy or a girl” I want to update my status. Not only did that lady update the status but along with her, her husband, her daughter, her son, and I leave it for you to guess…And don’t forget the likes. It seems, facebook too believes “Idle mind is a devils workshop” and keeps you busy.

UPDATES AND LIKES-1

Two days before writing this blog I received a mail written in Arabic. The only English that I could read was please update your information otherwise your account can be freezed. I took a print out and rushed to the bank. After fifteen minutes when my turn came the person on the other side of the counter said your informations are up to date, you may relax.

We live in an IT (Information Technology) age so much so that we have a graduation, post-graduation and even an MBA in IT.  Side by side the academic educations there are workshops conducted on ethical hacking and after the workshop; to be ethical or unethical is left up to the participants wish and will.

Updating information falls in two categories namely forceful updating and willful updating. The update you are required to furnished in exchange of getting your work done is forceful updating. To get the work done in a government office or a bank you may be demand information about any of the card that follows namely the election commission card, the ration card, the ATM card, ATM cum debit card, the credit card, PAN card, the latest one Adhar card and may be the passport.

Once my friend Rajeev Pillai who works for Hadded got stuck-up updating his profile for he was asked to furnish information he did not have, the system would not move further from the page he was in. In Saudi Arabia one is allowed four marriages. As he started updating his profile, the system asked his first wife’s name, having put the name as he pressed the enter key the next page that appeared asked his second wife’s name; now what to do, he did not have a second wife. He thought it wise to ask his wife. As he put across his question to his wife, she told that she was helping her brother with the same situation. Somehow with dummy character he managed to have four wives and ended the trouble. If you don’t confide in me than also you have to for he has himself confessed this in his Division Conference Humorous Speech. The likes that he received were not virtual likes but were real likes for he stood smiling as he bagged the second place winner.

Providing fake information can reward you and remand you. It is just like tossing a coin. It also matters who is at the receiving end. Rajeev was lucky enough to have the judges at the receiving end who awarded him with a trophy but if the person on the receiving end is either a police man or a judge than things could turn otherwise and your fortune can topsy-turvy into a tragedy.

The order of the day is information, fake or real, you have to provide. It is up to you to decide what to opt and do not forget that the tally of likes will surely be proportional to the decision you make. See you next time with UPDATES AND LIKES-2  

I LOVE YOU-2

With that incident I lost the little courage I had, I have been moving from the pillar to the post unsuccessfully. With every failed attempt my worry went on escalating.

I have no one else to go to and that is the reason, I have come to you. I hope you won’t let me down.

Yours is a one sided love, but think what if my husband come to know about it; hell will fall on me!

For God sake will you, will you, will you stop thinking, will you stop guessing, will you stop anticipating, will you calm down and lend me an ear.

 

She cooled and slumped down in the chair and looked at me.

I continued, I had a problem with this statement; I have a problem with this statement. The spirit behind these words has vanished into thin air. The words aren't working now a day. They don’t caste their magic-spell as they used to in the past.

Every girl whom I met took this statement negatively, at least they could have thought about my integrity. You too don’t have the patience to listen to me, I want you to respond, not to react. Your response can lift me, you reaction can ditch me.

Like you I too care for my family. I too care for my children but like the highs and lows in the ocean I am going through a low phase in my life.

My wife doesn't heed attention when I say her “I love you.”

You are a lady, you are aware of lady psychology and besides you are a friend in whom I can confide. I came to you seeking for a solution to rejuvenate my husband-wife bonding.

That friend in her came alive, her heart reached out to help me and with all sincerity she said there is a place and time for everything in life. When she is occupied help her, when she if free care for her.        

Listen carefully “The way to a man’s heart passes through his stomach and the way to women heart passes through her eyes”

If you don’t look at her in the eyes, she feels you don't mean it, she feels you are not serious, she feels you are not sincere, she feels ignored, she takes you casually. 

Hold your wife’s hand, look into her eyes and tell her “I love you” then on you won’t find the need to walk up to me with this question any more.

While I was thinking over what she said; she took me by the back, gave me a gentle push and said it is time to act, not to think. Go hurry up, don’t be late. 

All the best.

As I turned to leave (hoping the advice to work) the timer was staring at me with the red card held high, cautioning me of getting disqualified. I left the stage.

Ha, ha, ha

I LOVE YOU-1

If the topic is known to you well in advance, you have time to gather thoughts but what if you are called on the stage and asked to speak on a topic you never guessed about. The topic may appear simple for the audience but it may be extremely difficult to speak on, especially when you happen to be a person considered to be able to speak on any subject given to you. Once I landed into such a situation.

The topic was: What is the one dangerous and needy thing that you dared to do?

I started off, I have a lady friend, once I walked up to her and said “I love you”. (Before I continue further; you might be having a whirlpool of thoughts. You might be thinking would she be unmarried, or would she be married? Not only questions; you might be having answers ready too. If she was unmarried she might have replied “I am already in love with someone, sorry houseful”, If she was married she might have replied but I am a mother of two children. Let me bring an end to it; she was a married lady.)

No sooner did she hear it, she was looking at me into my eyes, her eyes questioning mine. Though powerful at body language and eye gestures, I found myself losing ground. Instead of using eye gesture I thought it wise to use verbal language.

Me: This statement has been troubling me since long and with such gesture from your side it has turned to be more troubling.

She: I am a mother of two beautiful children, a wife to a caring husband and that statement of your is not acceptable to me.

Me: Dear, I have no other person in the world to whom I can express that worry of mine.

She: But your worry can bring worries to my family.

Me: Dear, if you try to understand my worry I think you can free me from it.

She: Sorry, I cannot help you. It is better you go to an unmarried lady.

Me: It is going to be a “From a pillar to the post” experience.

She: Whatever it be, I can’t help!

Me: Let me tell you that I approached the lady who sits to your right in the office. She told me that she was in love with her college friend.

Me: About the girl who sits to your left in the office she told “she was engaged and getting married in a month’s time”

Me: And the girl who sits to the far left in the office she said “she is leaving the country in a week’s time for further studies and she doesn’t believe in distant love”

Me: I even asked the girl who sits to the far right in the office. She isn’t that impressive and good looking, isn't it. Do you know what she said? Stay away or else I won’t lodge a complaint to the department boss but I will directly call the police.

See you next time with the concluding part: I LOVE YOU-2

COPYING-2

Milan, Ohio February 11, 1847, a child was born; it was the last and the seventh child in the family. Its father was a political activist and mother, a perfect teacher. This child was the mother’s apple of the eye. The child too loved its mother a lot. 

The world is very much new to a child. It has lot of questions, confusions, doubts and queries to be clarified. It always tries to get a satisfying answer; if it gets an unsatisfying answer the quest for a perfect answer continues noiselessly. This quest takes him through strange ways, strange behaviour and at times strange thoughts; it may pose bizarre questions to the parent, teacher or any elderly person he feels, approachable.

The child in discussion was a hyperactive child. A hyperactive child is not bad, lazy or stupid but is prone to distraction. Its teacher found it difficult to handle. Its mother preferred to teach it at home.

One morning, not seeing it around, its mother called it, once, twice, thrice; she continued to call. It kept on answering and continued to remain in bed. Not able to bear it, its mother, entered the bedroom, caught it by the hand and pulled it out of bed. The child was speechless and the mother awestruck. On the bed lay five to six eggs. When questioned, the child calmly answer: “When the hen sits on the eggs the chickens hatch out of the eggs, would the same thing happen if I sleep on the eggs?” ….. The child later grew up to be Thomas Alva Edison.

In the above story the child leaves the mother awestruck. Let us see what happens when a copying occurs between a husband and a wife. 

A motivational speaker was regaling his audience.

He said: "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"
The audience went silent and shocked.

The speaker continued: "And she was ….. My mother!" (Laughter and applause)

A week later, a top manager inspired by the motivational speaker tried to regale his wife with the same joke.

He was a bit hung after the drink. He said loudly to his wife who was preparing dinner, "The best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman who wasn't my wife!"

The wife went; "ah!" with shock and rage. Note able to recall for few seconds the second half of the joke, the manager finally blurted out"....and I can't remember who she was!"

By the time the manager regained his consciousness, he was on a hospital bed nursing burns from boiling water.

Moral of the story: "Don't copy if you can't paste"

WHAT’S UP?

Oxford dictionary defines revolution as “a forcible overthrow of a government or social order, in favor of a new system” another definition is “a dramatic and wide-reaching change in conditions, attitudes, or operation”. History has witnessed bloody revolutions, white revolution, green revolutions, and now it is witnessing a silent revolution. Bloody revolutions were about gaining power, white revolution was about making milk availability, green revolution was about afforestation (planting trees) and silent revolution is about mobile phones.

From a simple talking and messaging machine it has become a smart machine providing a horde of services; supporting these services are numerous application of which the most popular one WhatsApp Messenger is a proprietary, cross-platform instant messaging application for smartphones. In addition to text messaging, users can send each other images, video, and audio media messages.

My daughter once told me about an incident that happened in her friend’s house. The family has four members and all four have smart phones. Though they live under the same roof, they prefer messaging over talking. Once it happened that the son left his socks lying on the bed. The mother who noticed them, pictured and messaged, “Put them in the right place” The son was quick to reply, why only me? Have a look at this; what do you say? The son had pictured his father who was lying flat on the sofa. The twit from his wife made the annoyed husband move to his bedroom leaving the TV on; fifteen minutes later his deep sleep was interrupted by a message “Who will switch off the TV?” He replied “The maid”

Human voice has tone and inflexion which can work wonders but we prefer machine touch over human touch. Youngsters are very much fond of music. With mobile in the pocket and handset in their ears, they get lost. Hardly can they hear you and it can be one of the causes of strained relation between the parent and the child.

Go anywhere, you find almost everyone lost in his mobile machine. While passing through the security check, the security personnel is busy messaging, children are busy gaming, youngster are busy chatting, salesman busy ordering, stock traders are busy transacting, and housewife with gossiping.

Historic invasions fade away but scientific invasions grip us cascadingly. Einstein introduced time and space uniquely. Mobile is working on it uniquely; every second of yours and every inch you have is being transgressed stealthily by this machine. One can be away from his boyfriend/girlfriend but being away from it is not an affordable proposition. We are closely bonded with this machine. It doesn’t spare you even in your washroom and at your bed side. It is mandatory for some to be connected 24 x 7, many feel it necessary to be connected 24 x 7 and the remaining will feel the need to be connected 24 x 7.    

Ali, my neighbor’s sons who has just learned walking wants his dad’s iPhone to play with. Waiting at the Delhi airport, on my way to Vadodara; I spotted an elderly person in his seventies trying to learn the intricacy of iPhone from his daughter in law. 

Decades before children used to play marbles, adults used to play chess and elders used to play with rosary. 

So, what's up? Time has changed and now we all play with mobiles. 

FACE BOOK, YOU AND ME

Ask any youngster “Do you have a Facebook account?”, the chance of getting a negative reply is infinitesimally small. Facebook is a synonym of youth, youth never remain calm, it is always up to something. People on face book expose and express things that shouldn't be exposed and things shouldn't be expressed in open.

I do understand their feeling but if ever they want to do it, there should be a limit to it. If you cross your limit someone can take you for a ride than it is for the person on the ride to decide whether the ride is joyous or sorrowful but that is Facebook. Every time I open my Facebook account, ever-fresh updates are sure to be there. Generally someone brushes up acquaintances with someone, someone befriends someone, someone praises someone’s beauty and so on and so forth. The most common and highest ranking comment is “LIKE IT”. It is so easy and so handy.

A friend of mine told me a story: Once a thief in high spirit was enjoying his success of having stolen a hefty booty, lost in his thought of not having to steal for months. A ring of the door-bell brought about a dramatic change of his scene and mood. As he crack-opened the door to see who it was; a strong hand held him by the collar and within minutes he was in front of an interrogation team within a jail. He confessed of having committed the robbery and regretted being addicted to the Facebook especially posting pictures on it. unfortunately he posted the picture of his booty too.

How strange, not only decent people but, gangster, thieves, criminals and many others use Facebook. Criminals and police are like wife and husband. Where ever the wife goes the husband just follows. So the police too are on the Facebook and believe me if there was a certification being done. They would get distinction.

How can we forget ladies. When a dish is ready to be served there is a formality to be completed. It has to be pictured and posted on the Facebook. And the rest is to be done by public, but the sad part is, they have to comment on it, only by looking at it; tasting is not within their reach.

Updating a profile photo is a very common feature of Facebook operation. Youngster often do that. One day I thought let me try it, with any delay I updated my profile photo. The photo exhibited me in an impressively dressed formal attire hugging a four to five month chubby baby. Her sparkling white eyes with contrasting black cornea were spelling magic. She was staring at me right into my face.

Minutes later there was a flood of comments; one of the comments went to the extents of asking what is this? Whose is this? Did you get married for the second time?

I told him in Saudi Arabia there is no reason and there is no season; and it is official to get married four times. But tell me why are you so much worried?

He didn’t comment further but I continued. The same thing I can do it when I come to your home. Share it with your wife. Your younger daughter is expecting, isn’t it? When she is blessed with a baby. Arrange a photo shoot, I will come smartly dressed and no sooner do you take our photo, immediately, I will update my profile photo. Ha, Ha, Ha,

Long live Facebook